The Stigma of the Diaper Rash

One of the creams we’re currently using (who is not sponsoring or in any way endorsing this post).

When Peanut was younger, I had a constant fear that I was doing something wrong. Something that would label me a horrible mother and/or scar her for life. I think that we all have this fear to some degree.

So when she started getting constant diaper rashes with open sores shortly after her first birthday, I was convinced it was something I was doing. I tried everything I could find to get them to go away. I tried switching washing routines, every cream I could find, only cleaning her in the tub (as opposed to with wipes), lots of diaper-free time, multiple doctors visits with different creams prescribed, etc. None of it worked. I would be doing all of these things consistently and the sores would disappear, only to have new ones pop up a week later.

Later when I found out about the peanut allergy and how it could cause the rashes, I figured we finally found the problem. But when we eliminated all nuts from our diet, the rashes still stuck around. It took potty training to get these rashes to go away and since she still wears a diaper at night, she still to this day gets a little soreness (though luckily no open sores).

I resolved myself to the fact that she just has sensitive skin. Not too surprising considering her dad is a redhead with eczema and I don’t have particularly tough skin myself. And when Twig was born, I figured she was just like big sister.

We continued with all our routines. Lots of diaper free time, washing off most poos in the tub once she could sit up (it’s just more pleasant than fighting them to get their bum wiped, in my opinion), frequent changes, the whole deal. But she, too, has had constant rashes. Hers started earlier than Peanut’s did and seem to have no connection to the food she eats. I haven’t rushed her to the doctor in the same way I did Peanut because I like to limit our doctors visits to the truly necessary and when I used to take Peanut in because a rash looked really bad, they’d tell me it was nothing and to keep doing what I’m doing, here’s a new brand of cream you can try to no avail.

But when some blisters popped up on Twig a week ago, I decided enough was enough. I am tired of constantly battling diaper rash and there must be something I can do to prevent this. Turned out this was no normal rash. She had bacterial rash (including a pustule that had to be drained in the office) and some yeast rash on bottom. So now we’re doing three separate creams and it’s getting a ton better, but I just can’t shake the feeling that I’ve done something wrong.

I know I haven’t. The doctor told me it just happens sometimes given the environment of a diaper. All of my many hours of research on the topic of diaper rashes tells me I’m doing all the right things. My brain tells me to be logical and know that this is all correct and I am not a horrible mother, but the feeling is stuck. It’s made me realize something though: there’s a stigma associated with diaper rashes.

If your baby has diaper rashes, you’re obviously letting them sit in a poopy diaper all day. Or maybe you never change pee diapers. Or maybe you’re using the wrong brand of disposables or the wrong detergent for cloth. You’re obviously doing something wrong though.

But no, that’s not always the case. Sometimes you can do all the right things and life still gets in the way, diaper rashes or otherwise. Parents assume they have so much control over how their kids turn out that when something does go wrong, we blame ourselves to the point of self-hatred. But we can’t control everything. You can do all the things the books say and still end up with Jeffrey Dahmer for a son or, in a little less hyperbolic example, a horrific diaper rash.

We need to stop blaming moms for things that aren’t in their power. We only see a snapshot of their lives, even with moms we’re close to. So don’t assume that the one feeding her kid a bottle willingly ignored the breastfeeding advice or the one snapping at her kid in the mall is that mean all the time. And don’t assume that the one with a kid with diaper rash is negligent. And if you’re one of the ones like me who has a kid with all sorts of rash, try to give yourself a break. You’re a great mom, diaper rash just sucks.

Mother’s Day Poem

I wrote this little poem while putting my girls to sleep the other night. Since it’s Mother’s Day, I’m going to be brave and share it all with you. Happy Mother’s Day fellow mothers!

No matter the sleepless night, the bedtime battles, the lack of naps.

No matter the nipple bites, the waking in the night, the chest scratch.

No matter the constant interruption, the lack of time, the mommy calls.

No matter the arguments, the hair pulling, yelling down the hall.

You’ll always be my little girl, and I your mama. I’ll stay up late, reading you Llama Llama. You’re worth every frustration that I can get. Because you’ve made my life the happiest yet.

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My Continuous Brew Kombucha

Have you heard of this kombucha stuff yet? It’s pretty awesome stuff. (And if you’re more interested in my method of brewing it rather than all of the information about it, skip down to the bottom where there are lots of pictures.) One day probably around a year and a half ago when we were picking up eggs from my mom’s friend, she offered us some. I hadn’t ever heard of it, but I thought it tasted pretty alright mixed with juice (that’s how she drinks it). She said that if I ever wanted a SCOBY (symbiotic colony of bacteria and yeast) that she would be happy to give me one, so when I got home I started to research it. Then I immediately asked her for one.

You see, kombucha is a probiotic drink. You know, those probiotic pills that cost an arm and a leg and are all the rage? Well you can make that stuff right at home! Probiotics have many health benefits and I’m sure that we’re only at the tip of the iceberg when it comes to knowing all the wonderful things that probiotics do for our bodies. What are probiotics, you say? Beneficial bacteria. No, that’s not an oxymoron. Did you know you actually have more bacterial cells in your body than you have human cells? And there are a whole host of processes that simply cannot work in your body without these bacteria (I loved my physiology class last semester, in case you couldn’t tell). Bacteria is often associated with being bad, but it’s really not! Bacteria is so good and, as proven by this drink, pretty yummy!

Anyway, back to kombucha.

I started making it after getting my first SCOBY/mother/mushroom (yeah there are a lot of names for that thing) from my friend. Here’s a picture of mine:

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I think it looks kind of like brains. And to be fair, this is not the same one I got from my mom’s friend. My mom also got one at the same time and, given my busy school year, my kombucha fell to the wayside and my mother was probably still okay, but maybe a tad questionable, so I chucked her. When I started back up again a few months ago, I got a new one from my mom. The mother may look a tad intimidating (it was for me and my friends have also said it was for them), she’s not difficult at all to take care of. Just feed her and she’ll be a happy camper.

When I first started doing kombucha, I did the traditional brewing method. The idea is that you put the mother with some tea and sugar and tuck it away for a week, then when it’s done fermenting, you take the mother out to start a new one (along with some tea from the last batch, at least 1/2 a cup) and you drink what’s left while waiting for the next one to ferment. At this point, you can bottle it (that’s what makes it fizzy like soda) and put it in the fridge. For me, I usually just left it on the counter. My problem is that I would have issues with having too much (and it will continue to ferment, though at a slower rate without the mother present and at an even slower rate if you put it in the fridge) and it would get all vinegary or I’d have too little and find myself waiting until the next batch was done. Plus my friend showed me this post about the benefits of continuous brewing. You’re less likely to contaminate batches (which is still really unlikely) because you’re not constantly moving the mother back and forth. I find it to be much lower maintenance and, huge benefit for me, it never gets to that super tart stage where I’m choking it down. So, while I find that post I just linked to be super helpful, I think that the internet is in need of a very simple and straight-forward method of continuous brewing. Since I’m all about the simple and straight-forward, that’s what I present to you today.

The Lactating Girl Method for Continuous Brew Kombucha

Step 1- Get a mother! Chances are, you can find someone near you with a mother to spare. These things replicate every time you do a batch (though I think it goes a tad more slowly with continuous brewing, from my experience), so if you never chop any off you’ll end up with a huge mother pretty quickly. Ask around, and if you can’t find one, you can buy them online. And keep that juice that comes with her, because it’s important to keep some of the last batch in every new batch to help keep away things like mold.

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Step 2- Make some sweet tea. Above is the tea I use, but whenever I run out (this box is taking forever to get through!), I plan on looking for organic. It’s pretty easy to find a tea that will work and combinations are good too. I just do one type at the moment because I’m lazy. I may look into adding some green tea into the mix to lower the caffeine content (which is higher in continuous brew because you always have a mixture of new tea and old tea) since I give it to my kids. At this point though, they don’t drink enough and I don’t give it to them late at night or anything, so I’m not horribly concerned with the small amount they get.

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Anyway, back to making the tea. It’s important to leave the water for the tea out for at least 12 hours on your counter before making the tea so the chlorine can evaporate off (chlorine will kill your mother. Am I the only one who finds that phrase hilarious?). In case you don’t already make sweet tea, the ratio I use is 5 bags of tea to one cup of sugar (I use raw cane sugar, but white will do too. Don’t use honey!) to about 3 quarts of water give or take (I wish I could go back in time five years and tell myself I’d become one of those people who couldn’t be bothered to take measurements. I think it would have given me a heart attack. Well, maybe I don’t want to go back after all). Just heat the water to a boil, seep the tea bags for a bit, take out the tea bags, add the sugar and stir until dissolved. Put it in the fridge to cool to at least room temperature before adding it to the kombucha or you’ll kill your mother (Ha! I’m so immature). Maybe drink some too while you’re at it, because sweet tea is tasty.

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Step 3- Add tea to the mother. You need a large jar that’s glass. It can have absolutely no metal touching the tea, because it will corrode. Avoid plastic touching the tea because it can leech chemicals, but the little spigot I have on mine has some plastic on the inside and I don’t worry about it. You’ll want the top to be breathable, but not allow flies in. As you can see, I just have a little square of fabric held on by a rubber band on top. It works great. Pour that cooled tea onto the mother and let it sit, anywhere from a few days to a week, until it stops tasting like tea and tastes more like a bit fizzy apple cider-ish drink. Trust me, you’ll know the change. You’ll also probably want to make another batch of tea that you can just store in your fridge (and pour straight from the fridge into the kombucha) as you used that first one up.

Step 4- Add more tea as needed. This is where this method differs from a regular brewing method. Rather than drinking it down and starting a new batch, you’re adding tea to this same batch as you go. I try to add tea every time I take any out (as I generally take out quite a bit), but I don’t always get to it. I add it at least by the time that the liquid is down to 2/3 of the jar because I don’t want to sit through the fermenting stage again. By adding tea continuously, you get a tangy, but still sweet flavor. I quite enjoy it. I do prefer to add the extra tea after getting mine out though, as the fresh tea mixed makes it a bit too sweet to work with the tangy in my opinion. Having it sit in there for a day though changes it enough that it’s still sweet, but not so sweet.

So there’s my super simple method of continuous brew kombucha. Really, it’s ridiculous easy. And tasty. And good for you. It’s like the trifecta of beverages. Go try it. Mmm.

A quite side note: first off, I’m not a doctor. I’m not any sort of fancy health professional that should be advising you about drinking certain beverages for your health. I’m sure you already knew this though, so I’m not too worried. Ya’ll are smart peoples. Main note though, if you’re breastfeeding or pregnant, start small on the kombucha and work your way up. Actually, it’s a good idea for anyone. This stuff detoxes you, which means not only will toxins go out of your body (and potentially to the things you feed with your body), but also can give you nasty side effects like headaches and bloating. Not a big deal, but also best if you can avoid it. I started off small and worked up (starting around a shot a day and slowly increasing for a week or so until I was at the glass I normally drink) both when I started drinking it at first and when I started drinking it again and I had zero issues. Have fun! 

Newsletter-March/April 2013

IMG_0480Hey Girls!

Once again, I’ve neglected to do a newsletter for a month. Hopefully it’ll be easier now that I’m out of school for the next four months, though I’m guessing it’ll be considerably more difficult when I have to go back to school full-time in the fall. Oh well, it’s all a part of life.

Peanut, you’ve decided that everything is a microphone. You will grab anything that’s relatively long and fits easily in your hand and sing into it while dancing. Your favorite song right now is I Knew You Were Trouble by Taylor Swift (don’t blame me, it was the radio!) and you’ll sing and dance to it like crazy. You love to grab the handle of the locked sliding glass door and swing back and forth. You’re also making up little dances for people. You told me last week that you were making a dance for Mema for Mother’s Day and actually followed through today by doing a dance for her when we saw her. Sure, it’s not quite Mother’s Day yet and I’m pretty sure it was a different dance, but it’s awesome that you remembered. It’s also awesome that you care enough about holidays to give people gifts. Makes me really curious what you’ve been whispering with daddy about.

Another favorite thing recently is doing your hair just like mama's.

Another favorite thing recently is doing your hair just like mama’s.

It’s amazing how much your imagination is blooming. I swear about every 5 minutes at home you try to get me to play a game. Generally it’s something along the line of “I’m the mommy, you’re the grandma, and Twig is the baby” or some other combination of familial ties. Often you spice it up by adding specific type of family, like we’re all cats or birds. I have approximately 30 minutes a day that I can totally engross myself in this type of play before I start to pull my hair out (I never said I was perfect), but when you’re with other little girls it can go on for hours.

And you cut your hair by yourself while mama was putting sister down for a nap.

And you cut your hair by yourself while mama was putting sister down for a nap.

Last week you ended preschool for the summer. I know you were pretty sad to say goodbye to your friends for the summer, or for some of them that are entering kindergarten next year, forever. We made cookies for your teachers who said they were sad to see you go and kept talking about how smart you are in the end of year parent teacher conference. We got a nifty little book with pictures of you and information on all of your emotional, physical, and mental skills. Your teachers are very happy with how you can write all of your letters (I think some of the kids in your school only write the ones in their names) and how you know all the sounds to the letters. They said that over the summer, we can work on writing lowercase letters (you mostly choose uppercase) where appropriate and sounding out words if you’re interested. They were also impressed about how much you love the science sections of class (and how patient you are about trying new options when your hypothesis doesn’t work out). You’re really a very smart little girl!

Playing with your bandaid after tripping and scraping your knee at the park.

Playing with your bandaid after tripping and scraping your knee at the park.

Twig, you’re a little handful! I remember this being a tough age for Peanut too. You’re a determined little thing! After we finally got steady on crawling up and down the stairs, you decided that you needed to walk. Now every time that we go up or down stairs, you’ll say “Ma!” and reach for my hand to steady you. At least you’re doing that now though, because when you first started you really thought you could do it all by yourself, which scared mama quite a bit. Now you’re a bit more steady and walk up some stairs on your own, like the small stairs at our house (we live in a split level, so there’s only 5 stairs to each floor), but I make sure you don’t try to handle anything too scary on your own. This determination also extends to other things, like going on the biggest slide you can find over and over (even after hitting your head on it) or running down a hill over and over until you can handle it gracefully.

IMG_0736You’re also pretty possessive, which I can’t blame considering how much you girls take things away from each other. If I ask you for something that you don’t want to give, you whip your hands away from me and clutch it to you. In the rare cases that we really do have to take it away, you have an absolute fit, complete with flopping on the ground and thrashing around crying. I swear Peanut was older when she started to do that! But every kid is different and Peanut didn’t have a big fit-throwing sister to watch. Luckily though, we can generally get away with getting something away from you by asking you “a-way” in a sing-song voice like in music class, to which you’ll put whatever you have in your hand or mouth into the container I’m gesturing towards about 90% of the time. It’s super handy!

IMG_0552You love to do anything that big sister does. So many things that Peanut hadn’t even considered doing until she was about a year older you have to try because sister does it. You love the slide (like mentioned above), coloring, playing dress-up (though this one started about 4-5 months ago when you’d bring me pieces of laundry out of the basket and have me help you put them on), picking your own clothes, reading books (though for limited time periods before you request to nurse), and so many other things. It all makes you seem so grown up! I often have to remind myself that you’re only 15 months old, which isn’t too difficult when you start teething again (this time, it’s canines, so we’re almost done!).

Well girls, here’s to a happy summer. I’m sure we’re going to have a ball (and maybe mama will pull out just a little bit of hair) being with each other all day every day for the next four months. I’m excited for all the things we get to do, and especially all the things we get to not do, like leave the house! It’ll be grand.

Love, Mama

Peanut’s Tea Party Birthday Party

Last month, Peanut turned four. She requested a tea party themed birthday party. I love to plan parties, so I was up for the challenge. Sadly, I hadn’t considered the camera prior to the party actually starting (too busy with other things!) and it was on manual. Being silly, in that moment I didn’t think about the fact that I could turn it back to programmed and have my husband handle the photos. So there are very few photos of the party (if you’re someone who attended and you see this, send me your photos!), but I still figured I’d compile all of the things I did for anyone who is trying to do a tea party in the future.

First, here’s my Pinterest board that I used to bookmark all of the things that I liked for the party. Yeah, I drank the koolaid. I still mostly use Pinterest as a fancy bookmarking system. It was pretty handy for finding ideas for the party though. Most of my ideas are from other places and I’ll do my best to put credit here where credit is due, but for other ideas that I didn’t end up using, the board is pretty useful.

Let’s start off with the invite:

 

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I used the printable invites from here and chai tea, which I picked because I have had it in my pantry forever and it smelled delicious. After getting all the invites ready, I realized I forgot to put “No presents, just your presence.” so I had to take them back out and write that on, which is why it isn’t pictured. It was written in purple across the bottom of the tea cup where it’s the blue and pink argyle. We invited 13 kids! I didn’t want to invite so many, but Peanut insisted on quite a few friends from preschool. In the end, only 6 other kids showed up, which I was perfectly fine with, besides the fact that no one who wasn’t coming RSVP’d so I didn’t know how many were coming.

And now to food:

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We served chicken salad sandwiches and tuna salad sandwiches (my mom’s recipe that includes egg, lettuce, and cheese), deviled eggs (just struck me as tea party food and they were a hit!), peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that were cut into spring-ish animal shapes (I was going to use this idea with flowers, but couldn’t find a flower cookie cutter that wasn’t ridiculously priced for a piece of plastic) and the ends were later used to make bread crumbs, chocolate cupcakes with vanilla frosting (from a box because the homemade recipe I tried kept sticking to the cupcake liners), my grandmother’s snickerdoodle cookie recipe (the only recipe that I never share!), and sweet tea for the parents (juice for the girls in their tea cups at the actual party). The cupcake platter was my own idea. I bought three plates and two teacups from the Salvation Army and hot glued them together to make the platter. I’m very happy about how it turned out. I also printed little labels with what the foods were in fancy letters, cut them and folded them in half to make little cards.

For decorations, you can see some of what I did on the table. I was very lucky to be throwing a tea party in spring because I was easily able to find plenty of decorations. I found flower banners (not pictured) and other decorations at the dollar store, the butterflies on the tablecloths along with the nest and other things at the cheap section of Target (the one in the front with $1-$3 items), and that pink rabbit in the middle of the cups is from Savers. I made a banner like this that said “Happy Birthday Dea” from fancy letters that I printed off and cut out and doilies that I found at Joann’s. I tried to make pom poms, but they were more difficult than I had planned and I couldn’t get them to stay folded when I took them out. I also printed off this banner and hung it above the tea party table. All of the table cloths were vintage ones I got from my mom.

When the girls (we invited boys too, but none came) first arrived, there were tea party themed coloring pages waiting for them. It worked really well last year, so I figured I’d re-use the idea. All I did was Google something like “tea party coloring pages” and print off 5-6 of each one I liked. It was a good idea this year too.

After that, we moved onto the hats:

Peanut wearing her hat a few days later.

Peanut wearing her hat a few days later.

I found a bunch of hats at the dollar stores and bought some fake flowers there too. I put all the big flowers in one bowl and small flowers in another. I told the girls to pick out 2 big flowers and 3 small. Most of them didn’t do that perfect amount, but got close enough. They brought me their hat and flowers and I hot glued them to the hat. They had to wait until I was done with the hat after theirs before they could put it on so that the hot glue could dry. I also got some dinosaur hats and saved the leaves from the flowers for the boys and was planning on gluing those on for them, but as I said, no boys showed up. Everyone got to take their hats home.

After the hats, the girls went up and played dress-up for a bit in Peanut’s room. I won’t post pictures here because I didn’t ask anyone’s permission. They didn’t turn out very well anyway. Next we did the scavenger hunt:

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I took some more tea bags and print off little rhymes to direct them to the next clue, then taped them together and hid them. This was a last-minute idea to make up for the fact that the weather was worse than I had anticipated (the weather took a turn for the worse just in time for the party) so they couldn’t go play outside on the swingset like I’d planned. I  was actually taping and hiding them while the girls played with dress-up. I’m happy the weather was bad because this turned out to be a huge hit. It was pretty fun watching the group of little girls running and screaming to the next clue. I had to read them out loud for them, but they figured out where to go with each clue. The end took them to the magic room where pots were waiting.

Another modification I made for the weather was switching from paint to markers. It was too cold to paint under the patio like I planned and I didn’t want a huge mess in the house. I tested one the day before, but didn’t realize that adding wet soil would draw the marker in, so most people took home faded pictures on pots. After they colored them, I put in a handful of wet potting soil and let them plant a bulb from some I had sitting around. Everyone took their pots home. I’m not sure how these worked out for everyone else in the realm of actually growing the flower because Peanut’s got tipped over a few days later.

Lastly, we did the actual tea party:

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I got the teacups from the Salvation Army, as well as the flower vase and the bird bells. The napkins and kettle were from my mom’s. I got the idea for mismatched teacups from this. The girls sat down and poured their own “tea” out of the kettle and we passed around the food. Other than the cupcakes, everything had been free to eat before the actual tea party. We took the cupcake with the candle and sang happy birthday to Peanut.

After the tea party the girls continued to play. Sadly, one of them puked, and it just happened to be the girl that her mom had dropped her off. So my husband called her mom while I got her cleaned up. Luckily it was just that she had eaten too much, so she was good after resting for a minute. I could tell she felt bad when she was watching me clean up the bathroom (also luckily, almost all of the puke got in the bathroom), so I made sure she knew that I wasn’t mad and after that she went off to play.

Everyone sat around and chatted and played and I finally got a minute to relax. It was a ton of fun and Peanut loved it. I’m happy we did no gifts again too, which took a little bit of talking Peanut into it. She didn’t even mention gifts the day of the party though. I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to talk her into it, but at least for this year it was a success. I just reminded her that she would get plenty of presents from her family and that some of her friend may not be able to come if they have to bring a gift. I also reminded her that she had a lot of fun last year at her party and there weren’t gifts there. If she would have fought it hard I probably would have caved in.

It all worked out great and I think I spent a total of around $80 on the party. Pretty good I think! And Peanut, along with all her friends, loved it.

Peanut and Twig at 15 Months

I realized after posting my Breastfeeding in Public Speech that the photo I chose to accompany it was taken when Peanut was 15 months, which is how old Twig is now. So, for Wordless Wednesday, I thought it would be fun to look back at some of my favorite photos of Peanut from June 2010 and compare them to photos of Twig now. 

Going in chronological order, let’s start with Peanut:

From that same At Mother's Breast shoot.

From that same At Mother’s Breast shoot.

She still makes this face when she's confused why I'm taking a picture.

She still makes this face when she’s confused why I’m taking a picture.

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And now for Twig:

 

She is way past outgrowing the clothes that Peanut wore at 15 months.

She is way past outgrowing the clothes that Peanut wore at 15 months.

Daredevil insisted on going down the biggest slide, even after she hit her head on it.

Daredevil insisted on going down the biggest slide, even after she hit her head on it.

 

And they both most definitely love their daddy.

And they both most definitely love their daddy.

Breastfeeding In Public Speech

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One of my favorite nursing in public photos, taken by Katrina Anderson as part of At Mother’s Breast

For my last speech of the semester (yay!) we needed to choose a topic of debate and take a position on it. My first thought was breastfeeding in public, but I almost didn’t do it because I wasn’t sure if I would be able to present the other side fairly. I’m happy I decided to go with it because I think I did a pretty good job. And since it’s on topic for my blog, I figured I’d post a transcript here.

By show of hands, who here has ever seen a mom breastfeeding public? Maybe you felt a little squeamish about it, or maybe you just didn’t even care at all. This is the center of the debate about breastfeeding in public. One side says that it is normal and should be encouraged, and the other side says that it is indecent and should be discouraged. It is my firm belief that breastfeeding in public directly affects breastfeeding overall and since breastfeeding is so important for the health of mother and baby, breastfeeding in public should be encouraged.

First let’s talk about what the proponents of breast-feeding in public have to say. Their main argument is that it is not an issue modesty but simply a baby eating. And many states agree. The national conference of State legislatures breast-feeding laws last revised in 2011 states that 28 states have laws Specifically exempting breast-feeding from indecency laws, and 45 States have laws that allow a woman to breast-feed any location public or private. Utah is Included in both these groups.

The second argument that they make is that discouraging breastfeeding in public shortens the overall duration of breastfeeding. In the article Got Milk? Not in Public! In international Breastfeeding Journal in 2008 Jacqueline Wolf states “If women are made to feel uncomfortable with public breastfeeding, breastfeeding becomes difficult, if not impossible, to sustain. Women who have successfully breastfed for long periods of time know that unless women can feed their babies anytime, anywhere, they’re going to end up housebound. And it’s the rare American woman who is willing to be housebound for months on end. So, many women give up breastfeeding early and opt for the bottle.”

Now let’s talk about what the opponents have to say about breastfeeding in public. Their main argument is that it is immodest and indecent. In an article written last month by Amy Bushatz she talks about the story in the Schofield Barracks commissary in Hawaii. Two women were told that they needed to leave because they were breastfeeding while shopping. While there were no regulations about breastfeeding in the commissary at the time of these incidences, the commander is developing a policy because of the “questions raised about what is considered exposure and how it is perceived by others.” By using the term exposure he turns this into a debate of decency.

The second argument they make is that it can make others feel uncomfortable. In an article by Sarah McGrath in 2010, she talks about the Head Start program in Washington. This program has a specific emphasis on nutrition and regulations about giving moms information on breastfeeding, but they told a mom that she was no longer allowed to breastfeed in the classroom because it was making others feel uncomfortable.

Now that we have those two sides and their arguments in mind, here is my opinion. First I will offer two solutions that that opponents to breastfeeding in public often give so that the mom will not need to breastfeed in public. The first solution is that you can time your outings around feeding. This is difficult for even the most scheduled baby, but especially so in circumstances like mine with my first daughter. She had horrible reflux and needed to nurse every 60 to 90 minutes for the first six months of her life. It was impossible to time outings around feedings, because even a short grocery store trip can take 60 minutes. And even a baby who is not in such an extreme circumstance may sometimes need to nurse more often than they normally do. Maybe they’re teething, having an growth spurt, or even just feeling overwhelmed from being out and about. So that mom is stuck in the middle of the store with a crying baby not knowing what to do.

The second solution that they offer is that you can pump milk and bring it with you. Besides the logistical issues of needing to purchase the pump, find time to pump and clean the supplies, and store it while out to keep it fresh, there’s the issue of milk supply. Breastfeeding is supply and demand system, Which means that the more you nursed the more milk you make. Conversely, if you skip feedings you will make less milk. So if a mom does this repetitively she will lower her supply, decreasing the duration of breastfeeding overall, bringing us back to square one.

The only solution is to just allow moms to nurse in public. In that same article by Jacqueline Wolf in 2008, she talks about how in other countries where breasts are not sexualized but rather some other part of the body such as the thighs or even the shoulders, breastfeeding in public is not an issue. And beyond that, they think that it’s very peculiar that it’s an issue here.

And yes, it can make others feel uncomfortable. But so does picking your teeth when you’re done eating, or a woman wearing a short skirt. And no one tries to say that those are indecent or should be outlawed.

In conclusion, I believe that we should encourage mothers to breastfeed in public. The proponents of breastfeeding in public say that it is an issue of eating not modesty and that by discouraging breastfeeding in public shortens the overall duration of breastfeeding. The opponents say that it is immodest and indecent and that makes others feel uncomfortable. As a society we choose what is considered indecent and by allowing and encouraging moms to breastfeed public, we will normalize breastfeeding so that this is not an issue in the future.