I’m Excited to Give Birth

First off: No, I’m not pregnant.

The topic is just on my mind because we’ve decided when to try again. I kind of feel like screaming to the world “I’m gonna try to get pregnant starting ____”, but I also kind of feel like that would take some of the charm of it all away, so I’m waiting to give you all the details until we’re there.

Anyway, I want to write a post about birth. Peanut’s birth didn’t go as planned. For a long time I wasn’t okay with how it went. People called us stupid for not seeing the signs. I felt entirely out of control at the hospital. Honestly, I was not happy with how it went at all—even though I did get the natural birth I wanted. I’d like to take a moment here to say it’s okay to be upset about your birth. No matter how your birth went, it’s perfectly alright to be upset that it didn’t go how you pictured it. Don’t let people tell you that you’re not allowed because you have a healthy baby or you survived or blah-de-blah. If your birth didn’t live up to your expectations, you’re allowed to mourn. You’re allowed to take how ever much time you need to get to acceptance of the birth that you had.

Alright, I’m off my soapbox.

Since we have a plan now, I’m obviously starting to get excited. You might think that since I didn’t get the birth that I wanted that I would be afraid of going through it all again, but I’m not. While my birth was vastly different than I expected, it also changed my perspective. I am at the point now where I am able to see how great it is in that perspective. It made me change my birthing views for the better. Yes, I still plan on giving birth naturally, but this time with a twist.

I want a planned homebirth.

I am so excited at the prospect of giving birth at a home. I am excited to plan it. I am excited to connect again with my husband in the way that only birth can make you connect. I am excited to, when it’s all said and done, go upstairs and lay in my bed with my new baby.

(Chances are if you read this blog that homebirth isn’t such a crazy idea for you, but if it does freak you out, check out Bring Birth Home for more information.)

I’m excited to be pregnant again. Yeah, I complained a lot last time, but I still miss having Peanut so close to me. It’s an amazing feeling. I’m excited to go through all of the decision making. I’m excited to re-take our birth classes. I’m excited to hold my new baby in my arms. I’m excited to be that baby’s one and old food source. I’m excited to carry that baby around in my sling while I’m chasing Peanut. I’m excited to have them play together when new baby is older. I’m just plain excited.

I keep thinking I should be terrified and stressed, but I’m just not. I’m ready.

Anyone else looking to add some more love to their family? I’d love to get in touch with other moms who are gearing up to start again!

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11 thoughts on “I’m Excited to Give Birth

  1. Congrats on your decision to have another baby! Yay for homebirth! I can’t say that we are ready to have another yet (DD is only 8 mo) but I am already getting excited for our next birth. Maybe because I’m so determined to have a better experience next time. Like you, our birth didn’t go as planned. I really needed to hear the first part of this post. I’m tired of people telling me that I should be happy about the way things turned out. Thank you for saying it’s ok to not be ok about it! :)

    • I’m happy my post helped you. It’s not fair for people to discredit feelings of unhappiness about a birth. The birthing process is an experience for the mother too.

  2. I’m definitely “gearing up to start again.” We change our minds from day to day, but I plan on being pregnant by the end of the year. I haven’t decided on care provider/birth location, but I’ve thought about a home birth. Money (lack of it) might prevent that though.

    • If you have health insurance, just keep pestering them to pay for the homebirth. Google it and/or read the MDC forums for info on how to word things and what not with the insurance company. I’m pretty worried about money myself, but I think it’s worth it to get the birth I want and my child deserves. The midwife I’m planning on does a payment plan too, so if my insurance doesn’t pay it won’t be all at once. Maybe start saving now?

  3. We just started trying again (just, as in yesterday :) ) and we have a 13 mo daughter.

    I also didn’t get the birth I planned for, I was able to birth vaginally bit other than that I did not like how every thing went down.

    I too am planning a home birth with the next one. We are potentially moving overseas and won’t be able to home birth there so getting pregnant in the next few months is crucial for us.

    I can’t wait to read your pregnant post!

  4. We’ve been trying for another LO for a year now. Still not pregnant. It kills me. I too, long for that closeness, I want to give birth again. I loved being in labor. I know that’s weird, but I LOVED it. I want to do it again. I had a planned home birth. It went…perfect. It was the best experience I have ever had. Period. It changed me, so, so much, for the better. It makes me so sad when women don’t even know it’s an option, and it makes me so happy when I hear someone planning a homebirth!! Good for you!!! I wish you the very, very best. Homebirth rocks.

  5. Even though my births could be considered the epitome of crunchy-mom-in-control births, there are things I’d change about both of them. I think that’s the nature of birth: you’re always going to learn new things and look back and think, “hmm. I should have done this at that point, I should have asked for this, I should have…” I guess that’s the nature of life. And I agree- it’s 100% ok to not be 100% with your births. I hope you get to have the birth of your dreams next time!

  6. Homebirth rules! :)
    DD was born at home, and anymore children we have will be homebirths also. That being said, there were a few little things I want to change about next time. Each birth is a clean slate, a transformative experience!

  7. Oh, and @Megan, don’t let lack of money stop you from having a homebirth. Some insurance companies will pay out for a homebirth and midwives are almost always willing to work out a payment plan or barter. I seriously doubt any midwife who believes in what she does will turn away a mama for lack of funds!

  8. Congrats! It’s so exciting to start planning to add to the family, it’s a good feeling :-)

    And that’s so great that you are planning a homebirth. I dream about it. Oh I do. My second birth happened the way it had to, but I felt very, very angry for a long time after. This time I am aiming for a VBAC, but no one will “allow” a homebirth, even though I so would like one. I look forward to reading about your journey :-)

  9. I plan to wait about 1.5–2 years to get pregnant again, but I can feel your excitement! I am slowly starting to read more about natural birth and home birth and look forward to your future posts!

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