Monthly Archives: May 2011

Newsletter – May 2011

Hiya Peanut and Twig!

It’s certainly been an interesting month! Of course we had three big events happen this month, we found out Peanut is severely allergic to Peanuts, we found out Mama’s pregnant with Twig, and Auntie Barbara passed away. It’s certainly been an interesting month. Since mama is pregnant and this newsletter is addressed to the both of you, I’ve decided to start posting it on the last day of the month.

Peanut, you’re pretty excited to be a big sister. You loves to tell anyone who will listen about the baby in mama’s tummy. Everyone around here is super excited. Mama is feeling pretty touched out and tired and nauseous, but she’ll be okay. We have to keep reiterating that to Peanut because she gets concerned when Mama gets sick. Occasionally when I tell you not to stand (yes, stand) on my belly, you get mad and tell me you don’t want the baby in my belly. It quickly turns back into excitement though.

Peanut, you’re speaking so well now. Yesterday you said “upstairs” and it was almost perfect! It sounded like “up-stai-s” and I so shocked at how well you pronounced it that I made Daddy come listen. A lot of the time it’s still difficult to understand what you’re saying, but generally after you repeat it 10 times Mama gets it. The problem is that you say so many things that you’ve never said before and when I’ve never heard you say it, it takes me more time to get it.

You seem to be finally understanding the concept of colors. Last week you told me the cat was black without me even asking. You know all of your letters and your numbers consistently up to 14 or 15. Some days you can go almost to 20. You’re friggin’ brilliant!

Speaking of brilliant kids, you’re making leaps and bounds Twig. You’re somewhere between the size of a blueberry and kidney bean at the moment. That’s pretty awesome. If you weren’t somewhere inside my already hugely bloated belly, I’d be able to actually see you on the table. Slightly disturbing that we got blueberries in our bountiful basket this week, but I’ll just remind myself that you aren’t actually a blueberry when I’m eating them in my pancakes.

You’re starting to look less like a weird reptile and more like a real baby. Supposedly you’re growing some buds now that’ll be arms and legs. Along with pretty much every body part actually, but I guess that’s what happens when you’re such a little smarty pants. Mama is pretty nauseous and tired still, but hopefully that’ll pass soon. I keep reminding myself that it’s actually a good sign that I’m so sick.

Love you both, Mama

Peanut’s Routine

Peanut’s sleep has gotten onto not-so-good ground. I know it’s because things are less hectic and I’ve really been ignoring her bedtime routine and getting her hyped up when she shouldn’t and making dinner too late and all the other wonderful things that mamas that are trying to avoid vomiting do.

Anyway, I want to get back into the swing of things. I want to get her bedtime routine back to normal. On top of that, I want to just get her routine back to normal. She’s attending a preschool on my campus next semester (yay!) and they have things set out by time. I decided to do the same thing. Of course this is flexible, but I’m just trying to get her used to the idea.

We’re going to try to stick to this as much as possible. I’m also going to try to work really hard on getting her to nap at 11:30 because that’s when the preschool naps. Right now she’s napping anywhere between 2pm and 4pm. I’m certain that the reason she didn’t go to bed until 9:30 is because she woke up at 6. No bueno. The theory is that if she has a solid daytime routine, that she’ll sleep better. We’ll see how this goes.

I also know that other things we have going on will interrupt (or just slightly change the scenery) of the routine, so I’ve given her a calendar to tell her important events of certain days.

Aww cute puppy

In general, I’m just trying to get her involved in her activities. Help her anticipate things. Get her excited. Help her to understand that certain things are on certain days. I realize that’s a lot for a 2 year old, but I don’t plan on her getting it right now. Just more breaking her into the idea while letting her having a bit more control over her life.

It’s Not Fair to Call Me Stupid

Peanut minutes after she was born in Daddy's arms (we still own that towel).

Many people think that we were stupid to have an accidental home birth. The first assumption is that our labor was so fast that we couldn’t get to the hospital in time. The second is that we were so stupid that we didn’t know it was time.

You weren’t there. You didn’t see the signs. You didn’t talk to the midwife on the phone and have her tell you that you still had a long time to go.

It’s not fair of anyone to judge our situation. Actually, from talking to other moms with posterior babies, the feelings I had were not unusual. I didn’t feel like the baby was coming because she was turned around and putting pressure on my bowel (the reason that the midwife and our Bradley teacher both thought I was constipated). The same thing causes my contractions that were anywhere from 2 to 10 minutes apart and very inconsistent. My water didn’t break. Given those signs and adding the fact that we didn’t want to go to the hospital until we absolutely had to, would you have gone in?

I’m guessing not.

Given the last 2 years to hear other people’s stories and process, I think I know what happened. It is my belief that my daughter was posterior for the majority of my labor. For a long time I was on the toilet “pushing” because the midwife said that once I was relieved of the constipation, the baby would come. Considering those two places are very close together, pushing in one place equates to at least some pushing in the other.

Then my daughter flipped around. I don’t know if she was in my birth canal or if all of the pushing before hand made her basically slip down into the birthing canal once she was in the right position. Either seems anatomically difficult, but it’s what makes the most sense for the sensations I was feeling. Suddenly, it felt like the pressure was in my vagina rather than my bowel. I thought myself crazy, but decided to check. Sure enough, she was just a few inches from crowning.

I immediately felt a strong urge to push her out. I don’t know if it was the sudden urgency of the situation if it was simply that she was finally in the correct position. Either way, it was the strongest urge I’ve ever felt. Just a few pushes and she was out. I can’t give a good idea of a time frame, but I know it was quick.

I’m sure that part of what we saw during labor could have pointed us in the right direction. Possibly I would have recognized transition if it wasn’t my first labor, but it was so short (I literally said to my husband once “I don’t think I can do this” and he said “Yes you can” and that was it) that we didn’t recognize it. Maybe if I wasn’t so afraid of going into the hospital and being stuck there and having all of these interventions, I would have gone in to get checked. If I would have had a planned home birth, maybe the midwife would have recognized the signs of a posterior labor and realized I was closer than we thought. Maybe if our midwife hadn’t had been so certain that I was just constipated, we would have seen the signs that it wasn’t constipation rather than ignoring them because the midwife must be right.

All in all, there were many things working against us making it to the hospital in time. Some simple things like not realizing that I was in transition. Some much more complex like my water not breaking.

I don’t regret birthing Peanut at home, with or without attendants. What I regret is going to the hospital afterward. What I regret is having to hear flack from people for missing the signs. What I regret is the resentment I feel towards the people in my life that think I’m stupid or ignorant for having an accidental home birth.

My New House Mondays: Tomatoes and Strawberries are Coming

Last summer my father and I ripped out three bushes in my backyard. Sadly, I didn’t take good pictures of it for before or after, but here’s a photo that I have that shows the bushes:

The ones on the left side of the photo and there's one more that's not in the shot.

I’m just not into bushes. They feel like filler plants and aren’t very pretty.

Anywho, I knew that I wanted to make that area a garden. I have an area behind the garage that will also be a garden, but I figured this area would be perfect for plants that want to take over the world. Last year we tried to plant some strawberries that my mom gave me from her massive strawberry garden, but it was too hot by the time we did it so they all died.

This year we did it again and they seem to be thriving. I’m sure it helped that we had an incredibly rainy, yet warm, week starting a few days after they were planted. Here are some pictures:

We have three beds of these. :-D

Some even have blossoms!

Along with the strawberries we planted some tomatoes that I got a the Botany Club Plant Sale at school. I figured those same rains that made the strawberries thrive would wreck the tomatoes, but they actually seemed to love it! They were pretty sad from being in my house because I’m sure I didn’t water them enough, they probably didn’t get as much sun as they needed, and my cats/toddler messed with them. Not to mention the night that I forgot to close the window they were sitting in. They looked pretty pathetic when we planted them. Now they look like this!

One is roma, one is beef steak, though I can't remember which is which.

Once the tomato season is over, we’re going to plant raspberries here. Raspberries are vicious little plants that go anywhere they possibly can, so it’ll be beneficial to the rest of my yard that they’re entirely surrounded by concrete. We just planted the tomatoes here this year because the area behind the backyard isn’t ready, raspberries are better transferred in the fall, and I wanted tomatoes!

So either way, looks like I’ll have some yummy strawberries and tomatoes this year. My mom says that it may take a year or two until the strawberries fully recover from being transferred and make bigger strawberries again, but I’m okay with it. Strawberries fresh out of the garden are delicious, no matter the size.

What yummy things did you plant in your garden this year?

Why I Want a Home Birth

6 weeks 1 day with a little Peanut head at the bottom.

I don’t believe that pregnancy and birth are illnesses and don’t want to be treated as such.

I want to be in control of my own birth.

I want someone who respects me to handle my care.

I don’t want to fight the system, I want to be exempt from it.

I don’t want to be tricked into things I don’t want to do.

I want to give breastfeeding it’s best shot.

I don’t want people offering me pain medication when I’m feeling weak.

I don’t want people taking advantage of me in general.

I want to give my child the best start in life.

I want to be in the privacy and love of my own home.

I want everyone present at my birth to be on my side.

I am now 6 weeks and 1 day along. I’m feeling less tired, but I think it’s partially because I’m giving in to every craving and letting myself get sleep where I can. I’ve figured out that it’s not about letting myself have just 300 extra calories a day, but eating to hunger. I have to remember that since I’m still nursing, this isn’t a normal pregnancy when it comes to calorie intake. This morning I had two bowls of rice crispies with a banana sliced on top of each and I felt good about it.

I’m also feeling nausea for sure. I don’t think I’ll get away so lucky with avoiding vomiting like I did with Peanut. Actually, if I would have had anything to throw up in my stomach the other morning, I would have already broken that record. Saturday when we were at my aunt’s funeral I got pretty nauseous, but I used the Preggie Pop sample I got and it seemed to work well enough. I think that was mostly a lack of eating. I’ll definitely be getting some more of those.

I’m also feeling pretty touched out. I just start to feel frustrated when Peanut won’t leave my lap or keeps kicking me while twirling around on the couch. Luckily, the nursing stuff is getting better though. It’s kind of silly that I’m more okay with nursing, but don’t want her on me. Weird ways our bodies work. Either way, she’s getting to nurse more often and it seems to help a bit. I’m also trying to get little bits of time away from Peanut to just unwind like going to a movie with my husband or going to the grocery store by myself. Lastly, I’m getting a better handle on housework again, so that’s helping me feel less stressed.

Goodbye Auntie Barbara

{the not wordless part} My aunt passed yesterday. We’re trying to be very frank with Peanut about it. Peanut seems to be taking it okay, but I don’t think she really understands it. Peanut loved playing with her and my aunt loved her right back. She was always the first one to complement me on a new hair style. She always spoke so highly of Peanut you’d think she was her granddaughter. So here are some pictures I’d like to share of her.

Holding Peanut when she was just a few days old.

Right next to me in the group photo for the girls at my wedding.

RIght next to Peanut on Christmas day making sure she wouldn't fall off the chair.

Tandem Nursing So Far

At a recent La Leche League meeting, one of the women told me that once you have a second one in your belly, you’re tandem nursing. I hadn’t thought of it that way. Possibly I just thought of pregnant nursing as something separate, but within the same realm.

So thus far it’s been interesting. I figured that Peanut would easily nurse through my pregnancy because she loves it, even if my milk goes away. No obstacle can keep this kiddo from nursing! I hadn’t thought that I could be the obstacle myself. I’m definitely not weaning, but I’m certainly not feeling like nursing. I find myself distracting her from it, telling her in a minute, etc. All these things that I had stopped doing now that I’m home all the time and we have the time to nurse.

As I’ve already talked about, I was hit harder with pregnancy symptoms this time than last. One of the earliest symptoms was sore breasts. Within a couple of days of getting my “big fat positive,” I started to be able to feel every single little movement she makes while nursing. I can feel every tooth. It’s more of a creepy crawly thing than a pain thing, but bleh. Jeepers creepers!

Then there’s the pain. If she pulls in even slightly the wrong direction, it’s gasping pain. I keep telling her that she can’t move around so much while nursing because it hurts mama. Sometimes she listens, sometimes she doesn’t. When she doesn’t listen, I tell her she can’t nurse because she keeps hurting mama. All of the pain and her wiggling around is just adding to my feelings of being “touched out.” Which brings me to point three.

She’s suddenly incredibly attached to nursing. She will stay on for 45 minutes if I let her and not even have a second thought. She doesn’t care what’s going on around her, she just wants to stay on. She doesn’t care if she’s not even getting milk (or much). Then at the end of that 45 minutes when mama tells her it’s time to stop, she Won’t. Let. Go. She has an absolute fit when I take her off. She’s even almost clamped down on my nipple when I stick my finger in to unlatch her and bitten my finger instead. I don’t know if it’s because I’m not letting her every time she asks or possibly point four.

I think my milk supply is already decreasing. I don’t know how quickly it generally decreases, but I’m almost sure mine is going down. She’s been night weaned for a few months now, but I still let her nurse in the morning once 6am hits. It’s always put her right back to sleep and I can get another hour or so of sleep, but lately it doesn’t ever put her back to sleep no matter how long she stays on. Then, of course, because of all of the other problems mentioned above, I can’t go back to sleep while she’s nursing. This is just compounding my already severe exhaustion.

Really though, the majority of the time it’s not a big deal. I’m still handling it. I’m not in tears and I’m not curling my toes. I’m doing my best to explain to her why she can’t do things or why I need to do to things and for the most part she’s accepting of it. I wonder if she’s going through a growth spurt or possibly the idea of a younger sibling is a bit scary. Either way, we’re sticking it out, at least for now.

My major issue with all this is biology. I feel that our bodies tell us what we should do and not do. Obviously the new mom should breastfeed. Her body “tells” this to her by filling her breasts with milk. Obviously we should co-sleep because mama and baby’s sleeping patterns align and babies need to nurse frequently. Our bodies show us what right. I believe that child-led weaning is right, but my body seems to be telling me otherwise. Is my body telling me it’s not good for her to continue nursing while I’m pregnant? Is my body, along with her obvious need to continue nursing, telling me I chose to get pregnant too soon? I don’t know what any of this means. I feel at conflict with what biology is telling me.

I’m trying to get a copy of Adventures in Tandem Nursing. Hopefully that will answer some of my questions. Until then, any advice?

Prenatal Vitamins or Lack Thereof

5 Weeks 0 Days

I’ve decided not to take prenatal vitamins.

I’m not crazy. I’m not purposely putting my baby at risk. I just decided they’re not for me.

I eat a healthy, well-rounded diet. Yeah, I sometimes over-indulge on sugar, but it’s on top of eating healthy things rather than replacing the good for me stuff. I drink green smoothies daily. I eat an apple a day (to keep the doctor away?). I feel that I get the majority of my vitamins that I need without help of a supplement.

Personally, I’ve never really been into supplements. I don’t see why I should take a pill every day to make up for not eating right. I’m reading a book called The Natural Pregnancy Book and thus far I’m really liking it. It stresses that you should be getting the nutrients you need from food rather than supplements and that’s definitely the approach I’m taking. Especially since that pill is synthetic, so I doubt my body absorbs it as well as real food. Really, when did we get to the point where we had to make up for not eating real food? Makes me sad for our country.

Here’s a break down of the essential nutrients that a woman needs during pregnancy and how much (according to this Baby Center chart and which ones they say I should supplement) and how I compensate for the nutrients:

Folic Acid. Pregnant woman needs 600 mcg per day. Sadly, my spinach intake only covers about 1/10 of what I need folate-wise. I also eat other leafy greens high in folate and beans which are too, but I don’t think I’m getting enough for a pregnant woman (though probably enough for a non-pregnant woman). I’ll discuss this further below.  Also nuts are high in folate, but I can’t eat those anymore because of Peanut’s allergy.

Iron. Pregnant woman needs 27 mg per day. I’m not a huge meat eater, but my husband is. That means that pretty much every meal I cook has a good amount of iron in it–especially since he likes red meat. I also eat at least 3-4 cups of spinach a day in my smoothie in the morning (which is about 1/3 of my needed amount by itself) and I love beans. I think I’m pretty iron-riffic.

Vitamin D. Pregnant women need 5 mcg. Guess what, I go outside. What a thought! :-P I also eat other things fortified with it like orange juice and milk (mmmm….), but I’m certain I’m getting enough of this one.

Even if you extend this list to all the things listed in my pregnancy book I’m reading (though their chart is old), I’m still good. Vitamin A I need 6000 IU as a nursing mom (only 5000 IU as non-nursing pregnant mom) which I easily get just from my smoothies. B12 is easily covered by meat. So on and so forth. If anything, I’d say that it’s bad for me to take a prenatal vitamin because I’d be getting too much of some of the nutrients that aren’t water soluble and therefore can hurt me.

That said, I am still taking a supplement. I want to make sure I’m getting enough folate so I found a vitamin that has just that and other B vitamins. B vitamins are water soluble, so there isn’t any harm in getting too much. It’s just two tablets that I can either stick under my tongue and they dissolve (thanks @ToniRaquel for the suggestion!) so if I start vomiting, I’ll still get them down. Hopefully that doesn’t happen, but the fact that I feel nauseous most mornings doesn’t exactly seem like a sign in my favor. I’ll continue to take them until I’m beyond the 10 week mark (probably just until they run out) because that’s when all the biggest development stuff is happening. Beyond that, I’ll probably be supplement-free. I’ll let you know when the time comes.

I’m now 5 weeks and 1 day along. Still feeling incredibly tired and semi-irritable. I think I’m getting a handle on each of these things though just by getting used to them. It’s sad that I’m not getting as much quality time with my husband, but we just try to make my pre-tiredness time really count. I’m also more able to “step back” from the situation when I’m freaking out about something regarding Peanut and realize that it’s not her fault I’m so upset. Just acknowledging these things seems to help.

I’m also so bloated I look like I’m 4 months pregnant (see photo above). Seriously. Not. Cool. I’ve heard from other moms that it’s pretty normal in second + pregnancies, but it still makes me sad. When I told the neighbors my due date they looked at my belly like I was lying to them. Oh well. I’m sure it doesn’t help that I’ve always had a bit of what I call a “donut belly,” but I’ve decided to just not care. Out with the feeling fat and in with the loving my pregnant body. I don’t care if my baby is the size of a poppy seed (like it is now according to my books) or a bowling ball, I’m going to love every minute of it. Or at least most minutes. Until next time!

Home Birth Midwife Interview Questions

Today we’re meeting with a home birth midwife to see if we want to go with her. She told me to bring questions, so I took it to heart. I doubt I’ll ask every one of these any many will be covered in the answers of others, but here’s my list:

Regarding her:
What is your philosophy of midwifery care, pregnancy, and birth?
How many births have you attended?
Are you available 24 hours a day at all times?
How many clients do you generally have due in a 4 week period?
What is the plan if I go into labor while you’re with another laboring client?
What is the plan if you are sick or on vacation?
Have you ever missed a birth? If so, what was the circumstance?
Have you ever lost a mother or baby? If so, what was the circumstance?
Do you have any assistants you bring to the labor? If so, how many?
Do you visit my home at any point before labor?
Are you allergic to animals?
What things do you bring with you to a birth?
Do you file with insurance? Do you have any experience with BCBS?
What days and times are you in the Ogden office for appointments?

Regarding prenatal care:
What are your expectations of the pregnant couple?
Do you require that your clients read/watch/listen to any specific materials?
Do you require that your clients take a birthing class?
What do your prenatal check-ups consist of?
What nutrition/weight gain protocols do you follow?
What are your thoughts on a client refusing certain standard prenatal testing? (e.g. ultrasounds, blood sugar testing, etc.)
Are there any specific tests that you require?
What is your plan of action for a baby that is posterior/breech? Do you turn them? Deliver them?
What is your plan of action for group B strep positive mothers?

Regarding birth:
Here is the birth plan from my daughter’s birth, is there anything on here that you disagree with?
At what point in the labor will you come to assist me in my home?
What do you see as your role in the labor?
What do you see as your role in the birth?
What are your thoughts on the husband having a very active role in the labor and birth?
What are your thoughts about children attending births?
Do you have any limits on the number of people that can attend the birth?
What is your approach if a labor is progressing slowly?
How often do you listen to a baby during labor?
How often do you check the mother’s dilation during labor?
How often do you preform episiotomies?
What percentage of your clients tear? What is your protocol to prevent tearing?
What are your thoughts on waiting to clamp the cord?
How long will you wait for a placenta to be delivered?
Do you help with clean up?
How long do you stay after birth?

Regarding emergencies:
What is your definition of high risk?
How do you handle hemorrhage?
How do you handle preeclampsia?
Under what circumstances do you recommend inducing labor?
Do you allow a mother to go past 42 weeks and still have a home birth?
Who do you prefer to work with as obstetrician back-up?
What is your preferred hospital to transfer to?
Under what circumstances do you consider transferring to a hospital?
What is your hospital transfer rate? Does this include mothers who transfer before labor?
What is your plan of action if a transfer occurs?
What is your c-section rate?

Other:
What are your opinions on having a professional photographer at the birth?
How do I obtain a birth certificate?
Do you come visit me at home after the baby is born?
How often do you come to see me and the baby (or we come see you) after the birth?
What do these visits consist of?
Do you check the baby during these visits?
Do you do the required newborn screening blood tests?
What are your thoughts on the vitamin K shot and ANTIBIOTIC EYES?
How soon after birth do I need to take the baby to a pediatrician?
Are you a certified lactation consultant? If not, do you have one you recommend to come visit after the birth?