Category Archives: Pregnancy

Observing Fertility Signs to Conceive

Today’s post is a Guest Post from Novelette Simonds, who runs a site called Fertility Haven. If you’re looking to get pregnant, or just learn more about your fertility, I’d definitely check it out! 

Scrambled EggI was sitting enjoying a nice breakfast of scrambled eggs, when a strange thought suddenly hit me, I thought, I wish we women were like hens. Why would something like that occur to me? Probably because I had yet again heard another woman express disbelief at learning that women do not constantly produce fresh eggs and that we are born as little girls with all the eggs we will ever have and there’s no chance of making a fresh batch, absolutely no chance. That means your eggs are always as old as you are. I remembered that seven years ago when I started studying fertility, this one left me reeling. I hadn’t found Mr. Right yet and was in my mid-twenties and busy doing my second degree and working. I didn’t have motherhood in mind for at least another five years, it certainly was not the happiest fertility fact I had encountered. The truth is we have limited eggs and they age with us, by the age of thirty about ninety percent of them will have been used up or deteriorated. Fortunately in the early thirties most women still have a good set even if there are ten percent left, so they have babies just fine but it becomes harder as you get further on into the thirties. It is difficult to believe that with all the advances in modern science, they still haven’t figured out how to prevent our eggs from deteriorating.

On a happier note, here is an interesting fact, all of us were once inside our grandmother’s tummy. How is that possible? Well your mother had all her eggs in her ovaries while she was in-utero, which means half of you was inside her, while she was inside your grandmother. Amazing!

I think it’s time though that we dispel one fertility myth that still exists today about when women ovulate. Many people still believe that a woman can ovulate at anytime in her cycle and that women are constantly ovulating and popping eggs out, this is simply not the case, ovulation happens once per cycle and that’s it, if you don’t catch the fertile window then you have missed your opportunity to conceive that cycle. The fertile window begins about five days before ovulation and lasts about one day after ovulation has occurred.

I remember the first time I told my cousin that I was trying to get pregnant, she told me that I should get an ovulation predictor kit. I never did buy one, I have always preferred more natural methods. I began watching my cervical mucus instead. I will confess here, that I don’t consider it to be the most pleasant of activities to perform on a daily basis but I did it anyway because it is the best way to find out whether or not it is baby making time. A check of the seat of the underwear usually does the trick or using a piece of tissue to check whenever you use the bathroom is always better or if you are brave enough, trim your nails, squat and just reach in with two fingers and see what’s happening by pulling some fluid off the cervix. Cervical mucus is of course the natural fluid that your cervix begins to excrete after your period ends, it usually starts off sticky or pasty, a bit like paper glue then moves on to being lotiony or milky, in the final phase it becomes eggwhite, this is prime baby making fluid. I remember running out of the bathroom and screaming, “Eggwhite! Eggwhite! Eggwhite!” to my spouse and he would say, “That’s so gross, could you just say it’s babymaking time, please.” The key to getting pregnant then is recognizing the fertile window, once you see lotiony or milky fluid it time to start trying to conceive and when egg white hits then you know that an egg is about to pop. The reason that you should start even before you notice eggwhite mucus is because sperm can survive for up to five days, so in case you miss your eggwhite days you still have a chance at conceiving. You should always keep in mind though that there is only a twenty five percent chance to conceive every month, so don’t let those negative tests turn you off, unless you have been trying for a year, then medical intervention should be sought but otherwise, just keep at it! After a baby making session try lying flat on your back for at least fifteen minutes, it has been found to help women having artificial insemination conceive, so I don’t see any reason why it shouldn’t help those of us going about it the natural way as well.

Remember too to look out for secondary fertility signs, such as dull achiness in the area of the ovary as well as a sharp pain, this is often a sign of impending ovulation and serves as a backup for confirming cervical mucus changes.

Whether you are trying to conceive that first, second, third or whichever number child. Cervical mucus observation as well as observation of secondary fertility signs is always the most effective and most reliable method of predicting ovulation, so you have the best chance of conceiving.

Site logoNovelette Simmonds is the founder of Fertility Haven, the website provides comprehensive information about fertility, as well as your pregnancy and childbirth visit the site and take control of your reproductive health today.

Too Big to Be Born

My big newborn. 9 lbs 8 oz

My big newborn. 9 lbs 8 oz

As you all know, Twig was a big baby. Along with the other myriad of questions that are asked about a new baby, of course, was “How big was she?” Before Twig was born, I didn’t know that my answer of “Nine and a half pounds.” would open a whole new can of worms. The initial shock and awe was followed by “Was it natural?” (in this case meaning vaginally, as opposed to drug-free) and I’d follow with “Yeah, she was born at home.”

Cue dropped jaw.

As if I hadn’t already shocked them enough with my ability to push an above-average-sized child out of my loins. Now I’ve blow their mind with the fact that I not only did it without pain medication, but outside of a hospital.

I remember my husband saying, within a day of Twig’s birth, that we were proof that big babies can still be born vaginally. And we’re not the only ones. Shortly before Twig was born, I found my midwife’s office on Facebook and followed them. They post cute little birth announcements (anonymous of course) with something special about that baby or situation. Congratulating a mom who had a rough labor, adoring a full head of hair, that sort of thing. Often, especially with big babies, the weight is mentioned. And the shocker for me is that they catch big babies pretty frequently. Looking over the past few months on their page, it seems to be about 2 a month on average. Presuming they’re not the only people in the world who deliver babies, that makes for a lot of big babies! Or does it?

Why is it such a rare thing for big babies to be born when it’s not that rare at my midwife’s office? One could make an argument that by random chance, they have a lot of big babies born. Seems unlikely. Maybe it’s more in their ability to leave a baby alone. Most moms that I know start talking induction the second they hit 37 weeks and their doctors are the same. Even with the hospital midwives I had while I was pregnant with Peanut, they told me they wouldn’t let me go past 41 weeks, even though 42 is considered “safe” by most and beyond that is even safe so long as baby is still thriving. This study calls 42+ weeks “post-term” (rather than the 40 weeks that people seem to think) and says that 5-10% of all pregnancies continue to that point. Yes, risks increase at that point, but monitoring a pregnancy is often all that’s necessary.

So let’s assume you have a baby who is ready to be born at 41 weeks, which is actually pretty average (41 weeks 1 day for first time moms, 40 weeks 5 days for further pregnancies). You don’t know that, of course, and are induced at 39 weeks, which is also pretty normal. That’s two full weeks before that baby was ready to come out. Since babies gain about a half of a pound a week, that’s a full pound bigger than they would have been if they would have been allowed to choose their own birthday, not to mention all of the other development they would have gotten in the womb. So maybe it’s not that uncommon to have a big baby, we’re just not giving them the time they need to get that big.

Then there’s the story I’ve heard from multiple moms that their doctor tells them, after an ultrasound late in the pregnancy, that they’re going to have to have a c-section because their baby is too big. First, ultrasounds can be off by as much as 2 lbs at the end of pregnancy, so that supposed 10 lb baby could really be 8 or 12. There’s no way to tell.

And let’s say that baby really is a 10 pounder. Or even a 12 pounder. Baring medical complications like gestational diabetes, why would your body make a baby that was too big to actually exit? The answer is that it wouldn’t. If this was something that routinely happened, as many doctors seem to think that it does, we would not have survived as a species.

So is there such thing as a baby that’s too big to be born? Under normal circumstances, I firmly believe that there is not. So if you need to have an ultrasound at the end of pregnancy, try to ignore comments about weight in general. You can do this. You can birth a baby. Trust me, your body was made for it. 

Is it a boy or a girl?

Walking around with a big pregnant belly, the two questions you’re guaranteed to be asked are 1. When you’re due, and 2. The sex of the baby. I know that I disappointed many-a stranger by giving such a generalized answer as “January” to the first question and I baffled many-a stranger by saying that we weren’t finding out the sex. Heck, I probably baffled many non-strangers too.

Some would simply be amazed. In awe that I could just let a baby cook in me without figuring out which type of genitalia it possessed. Some told me that they wish they could have not found out, but they were too weak or too interested or someone around them really, really, really wanted to know. Though really, it’s the passive position to not find out since you take action to find out. Some told me that they just had to know the sex of their babies so they could prepare or connect or Just. Know.

Personally, I’ve been on both sides of the coin. With Peanut, I found out around 19 weeks that she was a girl, even though my husband didn’t want to find out. He said he’d prefer not and I agreed, but then when it came down to the ultrasound I made a quick decision to know. With Twig, I knew right off the bat that I just didn’t want to know at all. Even if we’d had an ultrasound, I would have been very clear that they were not to tell us the sex of the baby.

So why was I so adamant about it this time around? Put simply: expectations.

When you find out what sex your baby is, you’re likely going to tell those around you. As I stated above, even strangers are dying to know whether that little bundle of joy is full of ovaries or testes. Sure, some people can keep that kind of secret, but being the person I am and absolutely dying that I couldn’t shout to the world that we were pregnant before the grandparents even knew (since one set was on vacation and we wanted to tell them all at the same time), I know I wouldn’t be that type of person. When you tell people you’re having a boy/girl, you immediately start hearing stories that you’re going to have to get rid of breakable things in your house before they hit 3/lock them in a room once they hit their teenage years. You’ll spend all your money replacing large, broken furniture/buying 5,001 hair bows. They’ll be difficult potty training/disciplining. In short, by telling someone the sex of your baby, you’re opening yourself up to every sexual stereotype known to mankind and projecting the weight of all that bias onto someone who hasn’t even taken their first breath.

In my case, a question that often followed the discussion about how absolutely crazy I am for not finding out the sex of my baby was whether I wanted it to be a boy or a girl. Generally, my answer would be to say, in a joking tone, that I want it to be a baby. Everyone would laugh. Some would prod further and I would say that I honestly didn’t care, so long as it’s happy and healthy. With good friends we’d go onto a discussion of my trepidations of having my second baby be one sex or the other, generally along the lines of boys have scary parts that I don’t have or understand, but we’d like to spread the family name, so I continued to be on the fence about the penis versus vagina thing.

Though when I was pregnant with Peanut, it was a very different story.

From somewhere nearing the moment that I found out I was pregnant, I was convinced the baby was a boy. It came to me in a dream, I believe, some blur of me eating ice cream with a little boy. I blame having recently read the Twilight novels. Regardless, in my mind, I was having a boy. In my body though, I was having a girl.

When I found out, I was actually sad, honestly sad. Sad that I had a perfect, healthy, beautiful little girl in me. Sad to be carrying this wonderful little girl who people often comment might as well be my clone. Sure, it was a fleeting sadness, but it was sadness nonetheless. And four years down the road, what does that sadness equate to? Guilt. Yeah, moms need another thing to feel guilty about.

When you don’t know the sex of your baby until they’re born, it’s not something you really get sad over, or at least I’d imagine. I’m not really the best person to comment on this since I was happy either way the second time around. Regardless of your expectation, you’re a tad bit tied up with other matters when you find out the baby’s sex at the birth. Honestly, I forgot to even check until my mother reminded me, and even at that I asked Peanut what the sex was, to which she proudly exclaimed that it was a girl. Sure, if I would have known the sex of the baby ahead of time I could have screamed “Get her out of me!” instead of “Get it out of me!” (Yeah, you try pushing out a 9.5 lb baby in less than 3 hours), but honestly, does it make the statement any better in the end?

Really though, let’s get to the thick of the matter. I hate pink. That’s reason enough to not let anyone know when I’m having a girl, right? Right? 

Did you find out the sex of your baby? Why or why not? 

Preparing for Birth Series

A Little Bit of All of It Preparing for Birth Series

Hello and happy Memorial Day! I hope all of you are busy having fun with family and celebrating those who have served our country, along with others who have passed. I often think of my aunt and grandma and how much they’d love to know the girls. I’ll be sharing pictures I have of them with Peanut today to help her to remember those we’ve lost.

When you’re not busy with your family on this lovely holiday, please take a look at this wonderful series on birth created by Julia at A Little Bit of All of It. Every week, she’s sharing links to blogs on certain topics related to birth. It’s such a wonderful resource if you’re expecting!

I’ve submitted quite a few links that you’ll recognize if you were keeping up with my Granola Head’s Guide to a Natural Pregnancy. I’m hoping to write some more for future weeks too. I hope you all enjoy the series and find it as wonderfully informative as I have. If you have any posts you think will work for the upcoming weeks, please submit them! I’d love to read all of your stories.

Planning a Water Birth

Today’s guest post is from Maria, one of my readers. I’m always happy when someone enjoys my blog and even happier when I read their work and find I enjoy theirs too! This topics is near and dear to me because, while I never said I was “planning” a water birth, I knew I wanted it as an option and now that I’ve had one, I’ll never go back!

Water births are constantly gaining popularity and it’s no surprise why; they are known to reduce pain and stress for the mother and to give the baby a relaxing entry into the world. The warm water is supposed to be a similar environment to the amniotic sac so that when the baby is delivered they don’t feel the transition to be too stressful.

The Opinion of Others!

When you’re planning for a water birth, you may notice people trying to put you off the idea or scoffing at it. This is most likely because during a water birth you cannot have an epidural or anaesthetic. However, don’t let others influence your decision. If you have decided you wish to experience a pain-relief free labour then a water birth could be perfect for you as it is known to naturally reduce pain. It’s also known to reduce the chance of tearing the perineum therefore lessening the chances of the mother needing an episiotomy. If you do decide to have a water birth, remember you can always change your mind and leave the pool if you decide you want an epidural.

Where To Do It?

When you’ve made your decision that you want a water birth, perhaps you’ve been considering it since your first pregnancy symptoms, the first thing to do is to decide where you wish to give birth. If it’s at hospital, you need to speak to them to make sure they support water birth, will have a birthing pool available or whether they will let you bring your own birthing pool into the hospital. The hospital may charge an extra fee for use of the birthing pool so look around to see if you can purchase your own for cheaper. The alternative is to give birth at home. For this you will need to find a midwife who is experienced in home water births and you’ll need to buy your own pool.

Secondly you’ll need to find an obstetrician or midwife who is happy with your decision. Some may not feel comfortable with your decision to water birth so make sure in advance you will not face any pressure to change your mind unless there is a medical emergency.

Keeping an Open Mind

Throughout the pregnancy and labor you will need to keep an open mind about the birth. Sometimes it will not be safe to have a water birth and you will be recommended against it. As long as there are medical reasons for you not to water birth you should listen to your midwife or obstetrician and be ready to change your plans. It is not recommended that you water birth if you: have had any bleeding in late pregnancy; your baby is in distress; you’re going into labor early; you have herpes or other health problems such as diabetes, kidney disease and heart disease; you have high blood pressure or pre-eclampsia; your labor was induced; you’re having multiple births, your baby is in the breech position or your baby is very small.

Lastly, you should try to labor in the water else you may not have time to get into the pool before your baby comes. It is advisable not to get into the water too soon otherwise the warm water may stop your contractions in early labor. Before you go into labor you will want to find a birthing tub, a midwife or obstetrician who is willing to assist with your water birth and a fetoscope.

Maria loves writing and researching about pregnancy and helping other people to learn about the different options they have. She is a keen blogger and loves hearing stories about everyone’s birth experiences.

All About Books — You’re Going to Be a Big Sister!

Today’s guest post is from Gretchen at That Mama Gretchen. Not only does she have an awesome name, but her blog is fantastic! I got hooked on her a while back during her Wool Week and I’m so happy I found her blog! Now she’s expecting her second and I’m excited to hear her journey into being a mother of two. 

I’m so excited to pop in while Miss Meredith gets extra snuggles from her mama!

I blog over at That Mama Gretchen about life with my toddler and our new little baby on the way. To celebrate our latest little blessing Jemma and I trekked to the library to find some books about becoming a big sister.

Jemma is a total book girl. Most days she forgoes toys to flip through books and magazines. She “ooos” and “ahhhs” at animals, families, nature scenes, and goes crazy for books with touch ‘n feel features :) So, although she is just 16 months, I figured books would be the best way to begin talking about the new baby that will be moving in this August.

We found 4 fabulous books that each took a different spin on welcoming a baby …

Of course, Jemma adored Where Did That Baby Come From? since it featured kitties. I loved the illustrations in There’s Going to Be a Baby and What Baby Needswas very attachment friendly as it showcased babywearing by both parents, nursing, and cosleeping. But, best of all was Pecan Pie Baby! I won’t ruin the story, but will tell you that I appreciated the way the mama responded to her child’s concerns about a new baby. This mama found a common ground for the three of them (mama, toddler, and baby) to connect is a special way. It was super sweet and I hope to find a similar way for Jemma and I to envelope a new baby into our special bond.

I’m sure this isn’t our first round of big sister books and I’d love to hear your recommendations! Please share your favorites – our library card is waiting to be put to use again!

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If you are interested in other blog posts about welcoming new siblings, these are a few of my recent read:

Mama to my sweet girl, Jemma, and another expected to arrive this summer! I share about our days over at That Mama Gretchen sprinkled with memos about our attachment parenting experience, thrifty finds, crafty projects, and our goal of becoming more green. Stop by for a visit, we’d love to have you! You can also find me on Twitter, Facebook, and my favorite, PINTEREST!

Rachel’s Birth Story

Today’s guest post is from Rachel at The Minimalist Mom. As you likely know from my past posts, Rachel has helped to inspire me to minimalize my possessions and life. Today I am happy to share her wonderful (and minimalist) home birth story.

Rachel and Henry

Rachel’s Birth Story: An Unlikely Home Birther

If you had asked friends of mine, or family, if they ever thought I would have a home birth, the resounding answer would have been no. Before getting pregnant I was a fairly mainstream follower of medicalized health care. I had been an athlete for many years and managed overuse injuries with a slew of medications and some half hearted physiotherapy. Once I retired from sport I had surgery on my elbow and gladly filled, and consumed, the Tyelenol 3 with Codeine pills prescribed for pain.

Before getting pregnant I watched the documentary The Business of Being Born. It was fascinating. And home birth looked quite interesting but I still didn’t think it was for me.

When I got pregnant I chose to visit a midwife, an option available to women in British Columbia, Canada under federally funded health care services. I chose to see midwives over an OBGYN simply because I heard the appointments were longer and more relaxed. Later I also learned that they did home visits for the first two weeks post-partum. Bonus!

I didn’t inititally intend to have a home birth. I did hire a Doula for labor assistance but I registered at a large hospital thinking that that was where my son would be born.

Like most women pregnant for the first time I read about pregnancy and labor voraciously. I read stories in books and online. I started to notice a common theme to the hospital stories, they were full of markers of dilation, shift changes for nurses and a lot of drugs. I knew I wanted to avoid getting an epidural because the thought of a needle going into my back made me nauseous.

I also read some painful descriptions of riding in a car while in labor. My husband and I lived in an urban centre at the time and we walked every where. Getting in a car while in labor sounded terrible. I started to read more home birth stories because most of the hospital stories were scaring me.

Another factor that began to deeply change my thoughts on laboring in a hospital was that we were already spending a lot of time in hospitals. Both of my in-laws had been very ill we had spent a lot of time driving to hospitals and visiting. The thought of going to a hospital to give birth started to seem very wrong. I associated hospitals with serious illness and cancer, not bringing new life into this world.

After a lot of soul searching I brought up having a home brith with my husband. His first reaction was, won’t it be loud and messy? I told him I didn’t think so. He also asked me why I wouldn’t want to be in a hospital setting seeing as I had never had a baby before and didn’t know how hard labor would be. As a former athlete I knew that I had good focus and pain management techniques. Also, my instincts were telling me I would be much more comfortable laboring at home.

After some discussions with my Doula and midwife we decided to plan for a home birth. With our healthcare system you can transfer to a hospital at any time so there are no financial repercussions (or pressures) if you end up having a hospital birth.

We told almost no one about our plan. My sister knew and I had told a few work colleagues. I knew most of my family would have negative opinions about my choice so I decided to keep it to myself.

At 38 weeks and 2 days my water broke. Unexpected for sure. I had been reminded time and time again that first baby’s come late. I was still working at the time and 48 hours before my water broke I had been in another country (Seattle – I am from Vancouver, Canada).

In typical low-key Westcoast fashion I went into work to finish a few things. My coworkers were slightly horrified that I had come in after my water had broken. But I wasn’t having any contractions and knew it might be a while. Also, I wanted to officially put my out-of-office reply on – no more work for me!

We did end up going to the hospital because I had tested positive for Strep B. I got a bag of antibiotics, a few more to take home so the midwives could come and adminster them later, and a small vial of a tincturn to help me go into labour.

On the way home we picked up our home birth kit, got labor snacks and had lunch at Whole Foods and I took my first labor cocktail (tincturn, castor oil, juice, peanut butter). I mixed the cocktail right in the Whole Foods cafe and downed it.

The home birth went off mostly without a hitch. My midwives visited me twice to administer IV antibiotics and see how I was progressing. I labored in the dark in my home doing a lot of swaying and listening to an awesome playlist of Ray La Montagne and the Weepies. My doula arrived and put me through a mini bootcamp of lunges with one leg on a stool. My husband rubbed my back and was generally amazing.

Because of my GBS+ diagnosis and ruptured membranes my care providers had wanted to avoid internal exams to reduce risk of infection. My midwives arrived at my home at 5am to adminster another does of antibiotics and they gave me my first internal exam. 10 cms. I literally pumped my fist in excitment. After my IV I went to labor on the toilet and started to have pushing contractions. My team got me up onto my bed and a few minutes later my son arrived.

It was amazing.

While I was not the most likely person to choose home birth I am now a big proponent of it for women that want the option and are good candidates. It can be safe and it can be a very healthy experience for mother and child.

In the last two years I’ve made some remarkable changes to my lifestyle, reducing possessions and debt and gaining more time and space in my life. It’s been wonderful. When I think about what gave me the confidence to make these changes I think about making that decision to have a home birth. It wasn’t easy to do something I knew family and friends wouldn’t agree with. It wasn’t easy but it was so empowering. Making such a big decision, and having it be successful, has given me more confidence in my body and my instincts.

I know home birth isn’t for every woman not only because medical complications but because many women will feel more comfortable in a hospital than their home. But I wish the option, the choice, was there for every woman.

Rachel Jonat writes about living a rich life with less stuff at The Minimalist Mom.

Don’t Go Broke Because of Your Baby

Today’s post is a guest post from Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama. Read to the bottom of the post for her full bio. Jennifer’s post is about things you really do and really don’t need for a baby, which is of great interest to me at the moment!

Simplicity is not the name of the game when it comes to new baby gear. If you were to ask any random mom on the street what her must haves for a new baby are, she might possibly prattle of a list that would rival the length of the Mississippi River. Creative marketing but major corporations along with societal norms put a lot of pressure on new parents to have all of the latest and greatest gadgets, toys, baby care items, and nursery items at the ready when they bring their new bundle of joy home. Parents are made to feel inadequate and quite frankly like a bad parents if their baby does not have every item on the standard baby registry.

I admit that I fell prey to this initially. I certainly registered for baby items that I never used and did not know that I would not really need. In these very tight financial times, parents are having to get more and more creative about what they purchase. Sure, you can look online for used bargains, shop at second hand stores, and borrow items from friends, but the fact of the matter is you will probably still end up with a lot of items you and your baby do not really need.

In the spirit of the new life Momma Jorje has birthed, I thought I would share a few things I have learned along the way about what new parents REALLY need and what things big box baby stores are pushing on you that you can do without. I also included my top 5 things that I am on the fence about.

Top 5 things you NEED

  1. Somewhere for the baby to sleep. This is a long topic in and of itself but in a nutshell, you need to figure out where your baby will sleep. If you plan on co-sleeping, do not waste money on a crib that you will never use. This is exactly what I did. I bought a crib that my daughter (Tiny) never used. Not once. Luckily the crib converted to a full size bed. So at least the money wasn’t totally wasted. The top of the line organic mattress? I gifted that to a friend. At least it went to a nice home. Anyway – if you are undecided about whether or not you will be co-sleeping long term, at least wait to purchase the crib or get one that converts to a full size bed so your money isn’t completely wasted should you never need the crib. If you do not plan on co-sleeping, then by all means, get a crib. You might also look into a bassinet or a co-sleeper for when your baby is a newborn. You will not want your baby all the way on the other side of the house when he or she is waking up every hour or two for those first couple of months. If you are using a crib, I suggest that you outfit it with 2 water proof mattress pads, two fitted sheets, 1 lightweight blanket, and 1 medium weight blanket both wool. Having two mattress pads and fitted sheets allows you to have a spare should your baby soil her bedding in the middle of the night. No reason for a midnight wash and dry session. For the blankets, I suggest that you get ones that are not newborn size. Your newborn baby will not use blankets so get something a little larger. Chances are, your one year old will not even use blankets. Little ones are notorious for kicking covers off. It is still good to have them for use in a carseat or stroller, if you use one. Wool is worth the investment because it adjusts to temperature changes by keeping you warm or cool, it absorbs moisture, and it repels odors.
  2. A car seat. Duh. Based on my personal experience, I suggest that you invest in a convertible car seat. These car seats are expensive but you will only need one and many of them will last from birth until your child is 60 pounds. I purchased the Britax Advocate CS and love it. Tiny will probably not hit 60 pounds until she is in high school so we will get a lot of use out of this one!
  3. One of the many baby wearing options out there. I had two…a Moby Wrap which I used when we were indoors and a Beco which I used for walks. I switched to using the Beco exclusively once Tiny was about 10 months old. It supported her better. If you aren’t into baby wearing then you certainly will need a stroller of some sort. Even if you baby wear, if you plan on doing a lot of outdoor activities, then invest in a decent jogging stroller. I didn’t start using a stroller until Tiny was about 8 months old and even then, it was only for really long walks. To this day, she still runs errands on my back, in the Beco.
  4. Basic health supplies. i.e. thermometer, nasal aspirator, nail clippers, etc… You will need these at some point in time. If you give birth in a hospital, there are a lot of these sorts of items that you can steal help yourself to. I made sure that I left with two nasal aspirators. Brilliant on my part since I lost one just a couple of months after Tiny was born.
  5. Diapers. I am an advocate for cloth diapering. You can read my post about cloth diapers HERE. Regardless of whether you choose cloth, disposables, or elimination communication, you will need diapers.

Top 5 Things You Do NOT Need

  1. YOU DO NOT NEED THAT SUPER FANCY, SUPER EXPENSIVE crib bedding set! Really, you don’t. Your baby won’t care about it and you will not use the set long enough for it to make sense spending the money on one. Yes, you will be in nesting mode and REALLY want that cute bedding set that costs $300 but you can do without it. Really, you can. Spend the money on an organic mattress and organic sheets and blankets instead. Plus those crib bumpers are very dangerous according to recent studies. It is possible for your child to suffocate if he or she becomes lodged against it.
  2. You do not need special towels for your baby. The towels and washcloths you use on yourself will work just fine. I never used a baby towel on Tiny. They were too thin and in my opinion, not nearly warm enough for a small baby.
  3. A special infant bath tub. The first month will pretty much be sponge baths and after that, just get in the tub or the shower with your baby. If you are uncomfortable with that idea, then baby can bathe in the sink. No big deal. Those infant bath tubs only fit the baby for a few months anyway so they are a super huge waste of money.
  4. Toys. Seriously. Your baby wants to be with you. They are not interested in toys yet. A few items made from natural fibers and materials will suffice. A small cloth doll, a silk scarf, a felt or cloth ball, a long wooden block to chew on, a set of wood keys, and maybe one or two small cloth or wooden animals.
  5. Doorway jumper. After much research, I discovered that these are really bad for baby. They actually can delay walking as well as cause injuries both from improper use as well as random accidents.

Top 5 Things I Am On The Fence About

  1. Changing table. I do have one and find it super convenient in terms of storing diaper supplies. It also saves my back and knees from constantly having to get down on the floor to do a diaper change. I am lucky in that Tiny still (at 2 ½ years) wants to be changed on the changing table (she only wears diapers at naps and nighttime). Most children despise it once they are mobile. So maybe you will get a year or so out of it. Personally, I found a great deal and the small investment paid off in storage capacity alone.
  2. Swings/Bouncers/Etc. if you plan on baby wearing, you probably won’t get much use out of these items. However, some parents feel more comfortable having someplace cozy to secure baby when mom needs a shower or is having a meal. Try to borrow or buy used as the cost versus length of use doesn’t usually pay off.
  3. Rocking Chair. I happen to LOVE my rocking chair. It is one of my favorite places to breastfeed and rock Tiny to sleep. However, if I had to, I could live without it. As long as you have a comfortable chair, you can make it work. You do not have to have some fancy chair to rock your baby. You can sway back and forth in any number of positions to create a rocking effect. I bought a super inexpensive “reclining/swiveling/rocking office style” chair from Big Lots and it works just as well as any glider.
  4. Pack and Play. We received one as a gift and well, never had a need for it. The idea of one is nice, especially for travel and possibly as an alternate location for naps. They can also be a great co-sleeping option if you are not comfortable having your newborn in bed with you. So they do have some benefits. I suggest that you leave it in the package and keep the receipt until you get baby home and see whether or not you will really need it. (It only takes a few minutes to set up so resist that nesting urge to unpack it!)
  5. Diaper Wipe Warmer. I made my own diaper wipes and did like the diaper wipe warmer for storing the wipes. However, I do not think it is crucial. The wipes aren’t THAT cold and you can always warm them between your hands or run a little warm water over them.

And there you have it! My thoughts on things. What are some of your must haves and what could you do without????

Photo Credits:
Baby Room:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/justinliew/4145611385/
Bath Center: http://www.flickr.com/photos/dazed81/3178023785/
Babywearing: http://www.flickr.com/photos/44068064@N04/5063884868/in/photostream

Jennifer, author of Hybrid Rasta Mama, is a former government recruiter turned stay-at-home mama to a precious daughter (“Tiny”) brought earthside in early 2009. She lives in the Sacramento, CA area with her husband and various pets and is passionate about breastfeeding (especially extended breastfeeding), bed-sharing, co-sleeping, attachment parenting, cloth diapering, green living, babywearing, peaceful parenting, a Waldorf approach to education and parenting, playful parenting, getting children outside, natural health, holistic medicine, as well as cooking and eating Real/Traditional Foods. A life-long lover of reggae music, Jennifer takes a little of this and a little of that and blends it all together into something that works for her family. You can also find her on Facebook, Twitter, Google +, and Pinterest.

K La’s Birth Story

Today’s post is from K La, a long time reader and commenter of my blog. I’m so happy to be able to both share a post from her and learn a little more about her through her birth story. Read her full bio at the end of this post. This birth story brought me to tears at 39 weeks and I hope that Twig’s birth will be exactly like her daughter’s birth was.

This is my birthing tub, otherwise known as an AquaDoula. My midwife lent it to me in preparation for the planned home-birth of my first child. My husband and I  decided against having an ultrasound, so we didn’t know the sex of our baby. My pregnancy was text-book perfect, so we were excellent candidates for a homebirth.

I was due on 09/09/09. That day came and went with no baby. On 09/16/09, I went to my midwife for another appointment. By this time  I had had two “false labors”  and had been having Braxton-Hick contractions for two weeks. At my appointment, I was 100% effaced (a new development) but still only 2cm dilated (I had been 2cm dilated since 09/09/09).

The appointment went well. I went home,  having small, pathetic contractions and just a little cramping for the rest of the day.  Around 10:00 pm the contractions changed.  It was obvious to me that the contractions were not going away, that I would not be going to sleep that night, and that I was going to have the baby soon. I wanted to time the contractions, but I really didn’t know how. Was I supposed to start timing when my tummy got tight? When the pain started? Did I end when I could breathe or when my tummy felt smooshy again?

At 10:22pm I called the midwife and told her this was it. She asked me a few questions, told me to take a shower and keep her updated. DH started filling up the AquaDoula . He hooked the hose up to the washer, but the hose’s connection wasn’t tight enough so he had to unhook it and get a different hose. Once he got that hose hooked up he started filling up the tub but the hot water ran out way before the tub was filled up. I got in anyway, by now the contractions were very crampy and quite painful. Ben started heating water up on the stove, hauling it up the stairs and dumping it into the pool. He was still trying to time the contractions (Which were really easy to time now since the pain and tightness came at the same time and were very distinct. These contractions were obvious, there was no ignoring them) and do everything I asked him to do. Poor DH, he was running all over the place.

The hot water came back on and DH finished filling up the AquaDoula. With all the boiled water he had dumped in the pool was about 100 degrees. I got back in and could feel my muscles relaxing. The water was amazing. I wasn’t sure if I wanted a water birth, but I knew I wanted the option. Once I was in the water there was no question: I wanted a waterbirth. Still, between contractions I liked getting out and lying on the bed. If I had a contraction in the water, it was fine, if I had one on the bed, it was VERY painful. I walked a lot between the pool and the bed.  This was about the same time the midwives showed up. They checked me (on the bed) and I was at 6. They listened to the baby’s heart rate (great!) and checked the position of the head. They said it was a lot lower than it was at the appointment that afternoon. I was still moving around a lot and the midwife commented that I should stay in one position to conserve energy. I just couldn’t! I moved to the toilet but that didn’t help, so I decided to get back into the pool. Once again, as soon as I got in I relaxed. The midwife tried to guide my breathing and that helped a lot. I had somehow pictured that I would be silent during labor, but that was just not the case. At first I was quiet, concentrating on deep breathing and relaxing, but by the time I was at 6cm I could not keep quiet. This time in the pool I was able to find a position I liked. I was mostly on my knees (but in water, so I was relaxed) leaning over the edge.

It didn’t take long for me to have the urge to push with each contraction. This worried me, since I had planned to push as little as possible. My biggest fear was tearing, so I wanted to let my body do all the work. When I told the midwife I wanted to push she said to push a little and if it felt good, keep doing it. If it hurt, it meant my cervix was swelling and I needed to not push for a while. I did a few little pushes (still hesitantly) and it felt wonderful! It felt like I could push the contractions away. I started pushing more and the midwife said she wanted to check to see where I was. I was at 9cm! It took less than an hour to go from 6 to 9!

Sometime during all this someone had turned off the light. The hall light was still on, giving a very cave-like feeling to the room. They also put a flashlight inside the tub so they could see the water (and me, I assume, wouldn’t want to miss anything!) and make sure everything was fine. I loved it. I have always loved swimming in pools at night, with the pool lights on, glowing underwater and making the ripples reflect on the ceiling and walls. That’s exactly what it was like. No one talked except in a whisper when they needed something or asked a question. It was perfect. It was so much better than I had planned.

At this point the contractions really changed. I knew I was going through transition. Even in the warm water, this part hurt. A lot. I tried to ride the contractions, to use them, but there were a few times it felt like they would bury me. I tried to concentrate on the sounds my midwife was telling me to make, and I could do it most of the time, but a few times I couldn’t get my breathe or just felt too overwhelmed. I felt tired, but still optimistic.  I know what I was doing was hard, but I still knew I could do it. At one point, I asked myself  if I wanted to do this. Did I want to get in the car, drive to the hospital and get an epidural to take away the pain? The answer was no. I didn’t want to get out of the water, I couldn’t stand the thought of getting in a car, and even though it hurt, I knew I was safe. I was relaxed, focused, and surrounded by people I trusted.  Even during transition, I knew I had made the best possible choice for me and that not only could I do this, but this was the best way for me to do it.

I reached down and felt the head. It was so close! I was pushing hard with every contraction and trying to feel if I was making any progress. It felt like it was taking forever but it could have only been 3 or 4 contractions later when the head was right there. I grabbed DH’s hand and made him feel. It felt slick; the water sack had not yet broken.

Suddenly I felt the baby kick! Here I was, in full labor, minutes away from delivering, and my baby was kicking!  I was so surprised!

I remember realizing that the rest between contractions was getting longer. I felt that the head was coming more to the front. I knew I was getting close. During a rest periods I stayed down in the water with my eyes closed telling myself that this next push would make the head crown. I geared myself up for the contractions and when it came I pushed hard. There was a “pop” and I gasped. Not only was the contraction gone in an instant and I felt that I had fallen off of it, but I knew my water had broken!

The next contraction I could feel the baby’s head start to crown. I didn’t want to push it out, I was still afraid of tearing. There were a few contraction where I would push, but then the head would go back and I would have to start again. After a little while of this I felt like I should lay back. I did and was floating on my back in the water. I pushed hard, griping Melissa’s hand and I felt the ring of fire. It burned. It BURNED!. One more push (And it felt like a long and terrible push) and the head was out! I gasped and kept asking DH if he could see it, which was a ridiculous thing to ask since, what else would he be looking at? Besides, he was the one catching. He was RIGHT THERE.

I tried to catch my breath and wait for the next contraction. I was also still in shock from how much that last one hurt and that we were so close to being done! And then the baby started squirming. I couldn’t believe it! The baby was twisting the shoulders and even started kicking. It’s something I will never forget.

The next contraction came (not as bad) and out came the rest of the body. I couldn’t believe it! We had a baby! DH caught it and brought it out of the water. The cord was surprisingly short, so I had to be careful not to pull it, but still keep the baby’s head out of the water. The baby was beautiful! Dark hair, wide eyes! I don’t know how long DH and I just sat there, holding our baby and staring, but at some point I realized the midwife was draining the pool so I could sit down (I was bracing myself up out the water to keep the baby’s face above water) and at some point she told me that I would have another contraction and needed to push the placenta out. That was not what I wanted to hear. But, when the next contraction came I pushed just a little and the placenta came out just fine. It wasn’t bad at all.

Finally, the midwife asked if we were going to check if it was a boy or a girl. DH and I looked at each other and he slowly moved the cord out of the way. It was a girl! A baby girl! A daughter. A perfect, healthy baby daughter.

Her birth was perfect, the best experience of my life.

K La has aspirations to travel around the globe and then among the stars. Her goals are to save the earth and change the world. Before becoming pregnant for the first time, K La didn’t know that a Home Birth was even an option. Ever since her birth experience, she tries to let every women know they have options! She believes all women should give birth where they feel the most safe.

The Most Pregnant I’ve Ever Been

39 Weeks 4 Days

I know it’s entirely normal for moms to go past their due date. I know that Twig will come when s(he) is ready. I know that things like dilation and effacement don’t matter in terms of when a baby will actually come. Regardless, I am going nuts!

As of today, 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant, I am the most pregnant I have ever been. With Peanut, I went into labor when I was 40 weeks and 3 days and she was born in the very early hours of 40 weeks and 5 days. I thought that possibly the math could be off because with Peanut it was based on my first day of my last period, but if I put that date for this pregnancy into the calculator, my due date is actually one day earlier than my due date based on my date of ovulation.

40 Weeks 1 Day - The Amazing Belly Drop!

Yeah, I know that due dates don’t matter. Due dates don’t mean expiration dates. I’ve been preaching this all along! It’s just so much harder to keep my convictions when I just want this baby to be here. In my family and friends’ defense, no one has really been bothering me about whether or not the baby has come yet. I was purposefully vague with my due date, even though it would be easy to calculate based on my posts here and I did announce that it was my due date on Facebook. I announced at the same time that no one was allowed to ask me if the baby had come yet and people have respected that. My plan if people start asking is to simply delete the comment and move on.

I know that this baby will come when s(he) is ready. I know that extra time cooking is a good thing and that life really is easier with the baby inside. I am still trying to cherish the last days that Peanut is an only child and I’m trying to pamper myself as much as possible in preparation for the lack of being able to in the near future. I’m trying to rest, even though my body decided to wake up at 4:50am this morning and wouldn’t go back to sleep. I’m as prepared as I can possibly be. Now I just have to wait.

This baby is already trying to teach me patience.