We started off the new month with Twig on the inside and ended with her outside. It’s surreal to think of it that way.

Peanut and I spent the first 19 days of the month having all the mommy-daughter time we could in anticipation of no longer being a family of three and all the changes that brings. We watched movies and cuddled on the couch, we went to the library, we cleaned house together, and we watched lots of birth videos. You loved watching the birth videos and talking about how the baby was going to come out of mommy’s tummy soon.

On the 20th, Twig decided to grace us with her presence and she certainly did it with a bang. Less than three hours of labor and nine and a half pounds of bang. Peanut was there and helping through the whole labor and was instantly in love with her new baby sister.

The rest of the month was spent adjusting to being a family of four. Peanut had a bit of a hard time and there were lots of emotional outbursts and some defiance, but none of it was ever directed at Twig. Quite on the contrary, Peanut, you wanted to spend all your time kissing, cuddling, and especially nursing with Twig.

Twig, you seem to be very content with life outside the womb. You nurse like a champ and you love spending most of your day being held by mommy in a carrier. Of course, you spent most of the end of January sleeping, but when you were awake you were amazingly alert. Everyone’s astonished how well you hold up your head for a newborn and at your two week appointment (technically in February) you had already gained 1 pound and 1 ounce.

Just like everyone said it would, my heart swelled when Twig was born, giving me the amazing ability to love both of you each individually as much as I loved Peanut before, then some more on top of that to be able to love the both of you as sisters too. I had absolutely nothing to worry about in that department. I’m so happy that I have two beautiful little girls and I know that your love for each other will just grow with time. I’m ecstatic that we’re opening this new chapter in our lives.

Love,
Mama

Photos by Cat Palmer.

This is my birthing tub, otherwise known as an AquaDoula. My midwife lent it to me in preparation for the planned home-birth of my first child. My husband and I  decided against having an ultrasound, so we didn’t know the sex of our baby. My pregnancy was text-book perfect, so we were excellent candidates for a homebirth.

I was due on 09/09/09. That day came and went with no baby. On 09/16/09, I went to my midwife for another appointment. By this time  I had had two “false labors”  and had been having Braxton-Hick contractions for two weeks. At my appointment, I was 100% effaced (a new development) but still only 2cm dilated (I had been 2cm dilated since 09/09/09).

The appointment went well. I went home,  having small, pathetic contractions and just a little cramping for the rest of the day.  Around 10:00 pm the contractions changed.  It was obvious to me that the contractions were not going away, that I would not be going to sleep that night, and that I was going to have the baby soon. I wanted to time the contractions, but I really didn’t know how. Was I supposed to start timing when my tummy got tight? When the pain started? Did I end when I could breathe or when my tummy felt smooshy again?

At 10:22pm I called the midwife and told her this was it. She asked me a few questions, told me to take a shower and keep her updated. DH started filling up the AquaDoula . He hooked the hose up to the washer, but the hose’s connection wasn’t tight enough so he had to unhook it and get a different hose. Once he got that hose hooked up he started filling up the tub but the hot water ran out way before the tub was filled up. I got in anyway, by now the contractions were very crampy and quite painful. Ben started heating water up on the stove, hauling it up the stairs and dumping it into the pool. He was still trying to time the contractions (Which were really easy to time now since the pain and tightness came at the same time and were very distinct. These contractions were obvious, there was no ignoring them) and do everything I asked him to do. Poor DH, he was running all over the place.

The hot water came back on and DH finished filling up the AquaDoula. With all the boiled water he had dumped in the pool was about 100 degrees. I got back in and could feel my muscles relaxing. The water was amazing. I wasn’t sure if I wanted a water birth, but I knew I wanted the option. Once I was in the water there was no question: I wanted a waterbirth. Still, between contractions I liked getting out and lying on the bed. If I had a contraction in the water, it was fine, if I had one on the bed, it was VERY painful. I walked a lot between the pool and the bed.  This was about the same time the midwives showed up. They checked me (on the bed) and I was at 6. They listened to the baby’s heart rate (great!) and checked the position of the head. They said it was a lot lower than it was at the appointment that afternoon. I was still moving around a lot and the midwife commented that I should stay in one position to conserve energy. I just couldn’t! I moved to the toilet but that didn’t help, so I decided to get back into the pool. Once again, as soon as I got in I relaxed. The midwife tried to guide my breathing and that helped a lot. I had somehow pictured that I would be silent during labor, but that was just not the case. At first I was quiet, concentrating on deep breathing and relaxing, but by the time I was at 6cm I could not keep quiet. This time in the pool I was able to find a position I liked. I was mostly on my knees (but in water, so I was relaxed) leaning over the edge.

It didn’t take long for me to have the urge to push with each contraction. This worried me, since I had planned to push as little as possible. My biggest fear was tearing, so I wanted to let my body do all the work. When I told the midwife I wanted to push she said to push a little and if it felt good, keep doing it. If it hurt, it meant my cervix was swelling and I needed to not push for a while. I did a few little pushes (still hesitantly) and it felt wonderful! It felt like I could push the contractions away. I started pushing more and the midwife said she wanted to check to see where I was. I was at 9cm! It took less than an hour to go from 6 to 9!

Sometime during all this someone had turned off the light. The hall light was still on, giving a very cave-like feeling to the room. They also put a flashlight inside the tub so they could see the water (and me, I assume, wouldn’t want to miss anything!) and make sure everything was fine. I loved it. I have always loved swimming in pools at night, with the pool lights on, glowing underwater and making the ripples reflect on the ceiling and walls. That’s exactly what it was like. No one talked except in a whisper when they needed something or asked a question. It was perfect. It was so much better than I had planned.

At this point the contractions really changed. I knew I was going through transition. Even in the warm water, this part hurt. A lot. I tried to ride the contractions, to use them, but there were a few times it felt like they would bury me. I tried to concentrate on the sounds my midwife was telling me to make, and I could do it most of the time, but a few times I couldn’t get my breathe or just felt too overwhelmed. I felt tired, but still optimistic.  I know what I was doing was hard, but I still knew I could do it. At one point, I asked myself  if I wanted to do this. Did I want to get in the car, drive to the hospital and get an epidural to take away the pain? The answer was no. I didn’t want to get out of the water, I couldn’t stand the thought of getting in a car, and even though it hurt, I knew I was safe. I was relaxed, focused, and surrounded by people I trusted.  Even during transition, I knew I had made the best possible choice for me and that not only could I do this, but this was the best way for me to do it.

I reached down and felt the head. It was so close! I was pushing hard with every contraction and trying to feel if I was making any progress. It felt like it was taking forever but it could have only been 3 or 4 contractions later when the head was right there. I grabbed DH’s hand and made him feel. It felt slick; the water sack had not yet broken.

Suddenly I felt the baby kick! Here I was, in full labor, minutes away from delivering, and my baby was kicking!  I was so surprised!

I remember realizing that the rest between contractions was getting longer. I felt that the head was coming more to the front. I knew I was getting close. During a rest periods I stayed down in the water with my eyes closed telling myself that this next push would make the head crown. I geared myself up for the contractions and when it came I pushed hard. There was a “pop” and I gasped. Not only was the contraction gone in an instant and I felt that I had fallen off of it, but I knew my water had broken!

The next contraction I could feel the baby’s head start to crown. I didn’t want to push it out, I was still afraid of tearing. There were a few contraction where I would push, but then the head would go back and I would have to start again. After a little while of this I felt like I should lay back. I did and was floating on my back in the water. I pushed hard, griping Melissa’s hand and I felt the ring of fire. It burned. It BURNED!. One more push (And it felt like a long and terrible push) and the head was out! I gasped and kept asking DH if he could see it, which was a ridiculous thing to ask since, what else would he be looking at? Besides, he was the one catching. He was RIGHT THERE.

I tried to catch my breath and wait for the next contraction. I was also still in shock from how much that last one hurt and that we were so close to being done! And then the baby started squirming. I couldn’t believe it! The baby was twisting the shoulders and even started kicking. It’s something I will never forget.

The next contraction came (not as bad) and out came the rest of the body. I couldn’t believe it! We had a baby! DH caught it and brought it out of the water. The cord was surprisingly short, so I had to be careful not to pull it, but still keep the baby’s head out of the water. The baby was beautiful! Dark hair, wide eyes! I don’t know how long DH and I just sat there, holding our baby and staring, but at some point I realized the midwife was draining the pool so I could sit down (I was bracing myself up out the water to keep the baby’s face above water) and at some point she told me that I would have another contraction and needed to push the placenta out. That was not what I wanted to hear. But, when the next contraction came I pushed just a little and the placenta came out just fine. It wasn’t bad at all.

Finally, the midwife asked if we were going to check if it was a boy or a girl. DH and I looked at each other and he slowly moved the cord out of the way. It was a girl! A baby girl! A daughter. A perfect, healthy baby daughter.

Her birth was perfect, the best experience of my life.

As a mother of four children ranging in age from toddler to teens, it’s been a few years since I took the huge leap from being a parent of one child to being a parent of two children.

But I remember that time in my life like it was yesterday.

Those cool, carefree days of being a parent to just one child were a walk in the park compared to the chaos that ensued when I became a mother of two children.

It was a loud, crazy, fun-filled time in my life and an experience that I’ll never forget.

What to Expect When You Have a Second Child

All hell will break loose. Just when you thought you finally found a routine that works, the second baby arrives and throws everything off kilter. Bye-bye structure. Hello chaos. Life will never be the same. It’ll be better. You’ll find that even in the midst of all the chaos, there are moments of complete joy; moments that serve as a life preserver in stormy seas.

Invest in a pair of earplugs. The noise level in your home is about to reach an all-time high.

Forget about being on time for anything. One more bag to pack. One more child-sized body to dress and groom. One more hungry belly to pack last minute snacks for. And Lord forbid if the baby spits up or poops as you’re walking out the door. It’ll be a while before you’re ever on time for anything again, but don’t fret. Your super sweet children will totally distract from the fact that you’re 45 minutes late to dinner with the in-laws. Again.

Everything you thought you knew about raising children was wrong. Your first child slept through the night early on, was an even-tempered baby and outgoing around strangers. Surely your newest addition will be the just the same… Think again.

And finally…

Your heart will explode. Double the hugs. Double the kisses. Double the giggles and more.

Having a second child changes the family dynamic exponentially. Sure it’s louder and you probably won’t be on time to any events in the near future, but you’ll be blessed ten-fold with the love, laughter and joy that having a second child brings.

Kristi is a wife, mother, writer and photographer who’s passionate about breastfeeding advocacy and living life out loud. She writes about motherhood, photography and empowering women at Live and Love Out Loud.

We woke at around 8:30am and I got up to pee. I was still sitting on the toilet taking care of other business after I peed when I felt a small gush. It was obvious it wasn’t pee by both the amount and the sensation. I called my husband in and told him of my suspicions and he brought me a cloth pad. I decided I’d just tell the midwife about it at our appointment in a couple hours.

I got up and went into Peanut’s room to help her take her diaper off. When I went to put the diaper in the pail, I felt another gush and ran to the bathroom to stand in the shower. I called in my husband and told him that for sure my water had broken and he took my went clothes to the hamper and brought me new ones. We called the midwife at 8:48 and she said that contractions would probably start within a couple of hours, if they didn’t, we could come to our appointment. If they did, she could have her assistant stop by to check on us on her way into the office.

While we were debating if my husband should go to work, contractions started. They were around 5-6 minutes apart and pretty strong from the get go. We figured I still had a while and they were just strong because of the lack of fluid cushioning the baby against my cervix. We decided he should go in to make sure things were in order for his paternity leave and then come right home. We called the midwife at 9:21am and told her contractions had started. She asked us to time them and said she’d see if her assistant was still in the area. She said she’d call us back when she knew.

While he was gone, Peanut and I ate cereal and a blueberry muffin. It was painful to sit through the contractions so I started walking in the kitchen. They were getting pretty intense and I was wishing I could get in the birth pool, but realized it wouldn’t be wise to even fill it, let alone get into it, this early in labor. I decided it was smart to take a shower and get clean for the last time in a while anyway, so I got in.

Peanut was dilly-dallying downstairs so I called her up. She tried to tell me something, but I was too distracted. She climbed in and I started cleaning myself. A few minutes later, my husband came in and told me the midwife’s assistant was here and Peanut was supposed to have told me when she came up. I finished getting clean as quickly as possible and headed downstairs to meet her.

She checked my blood pressure and the baby’s heartbeat. I told my husband to call my mother so she could come watch Peanut because I needed him. While he was in the other room on the phone, I stood through some contractions leaning over and the assistant pressed firmly with her hands flat on my back, which felt great. At this point I started vocalizing through contractions.

She asked to check my cervix and I agreed, hoping it would tell us this wasn’t just the beginning because the pain was getting so intense. She said I was at about 7cm and I felt immediate relief. She also said I had a bit of an anterior lip, which is a thickening of the cervix. She said, if I could tolerate it, I could lay there during a contraction and she could try pushing it out of the way. Not only could I tolerate it, but it made the contraction less intense. She said that meant that standing would probably bring the baby faster and that leaning forward like I was earlier was good for the lip. The assistant called the midwife to let her know the progress and I heard her say my contractions were about 3 minutes apart.

My husband came back and I said I wanted the birth pool. He and the assistant started filling it up and I walked the hall between contractions, calling my husband to come help when a contraction started. He pressed on my back and it helped, but the contractions were still very intense. Peanut almost melted down at one point when she wanted to push on my back with daddy, but he quickly gave her the job of pushing on my leg and she was happy to help.

After some amount of contractions, standing was hurting too much. I decided to lay on my side on the bed since the pool still wasn’t full. I started what I can only describe as howling through contractions and my husband did counter pressure on my knees and lower back. I started feeling like I could maybe push, but I thought it couldn’t be that time yet.

When the birth pool was full enough, I got in. It was freezing to me though, so they started boiling water on the stove. I was on all fours with my legs spread open in the pool and my husband got in to push on my back more. Peanut stood on the outside watching and trying to help. She was very good at listening and was happy  when we gave her the job of bringing mama water between contractions.

I started feeling like I needed to push, but it hurt when I did it. I almost stopped pushing because of the pain, but the midwife (who had just gotten there) and the assistant were cheering me on so I continued. It also provided some sort of relief to push, though it was still incredibly painful.

The contractions became more and more painful as I continued to push through them and I could tell they we’re further apart now. It was also quite painful between contractions, especially on my tailbone. They told me that it would feel better once the baby got past my tailbone, so I kept telling myself that to get myself to push harder.

The assistant was supporting my perineum on both top and bottom. She explained to me later that she supported both because it was shaped like a volcano, though I’m not sure what she meant. At one point I heard her ask my husband if he wanted to feel the baby and he did. This made me wonder how close the baby really was so I felt too and it was just inches from crowning, if that. My mom showed up around this time and started taking pictures. I started feeling the baby after contractions to know where it was until I started to be able to feel the baby crowning without the need to feel with my hand.

By this point the tailbone pain was gone, but the stretching pain replaced it. I was screaming as low as I could as I pushed and the midwives kept telling me I was doing great. It hurt so bad that I just wanted the baby out. Apparently I was screaming that I wanted it out. I pushed harder and more frequently trying to get the baby out until finally its head emerged, which relieved some of the intensity.

What happened next felt to me like the midwives were pulling the baby out of me and it was painful, though not as bad as the head coming out. It turned out that the baby had shoulder dysocia, which means its shoulder was stuck behind my pubic bone. They told my husband later that if we weren’t in the water, they would have let me push more before assisting, but in the water they needed to get the baby out before it got panicked and inhaled water.

The baby came out at 11:12am and I flipped over to hold it. My immediate feeling was relief that the pain is gone, but it was quickly followed my the intense joy over the fact I was holding my baby. It was still absolutely covered in vernix, which the midwife said that, along with looking at some other stuff (possibly something with its ears?), made the baby seem more like an early baby than a late baby. I don’t know how that would work out considering how positive we are on my date of ovulation.

They put a blanket over the baby when they placed it on me, so we didn’t look at the sex. After a couple of minutes my mother started to ask and I was amazed I was level-headed enough to say I wanted Peanut to check. I moved the blanket and Peanut told us the baby was a girl! She was ecstatic that the baby was here and she was a big sister now. And how much little sister looks like big sister!

We stayed in the pool while I started to nurse and pushed out the placenta, which we put in the container and allowed to float next to us in the water. My husband was behind me supporting me as I nursed and he cut the cord once the placenta was out, which the midwives said meant the cord was done pulsing.

The pool was getting cold, so we got out and went to the bed, where we nursed more. She nursed pretty much constantly for the next couple of hours actually. When she was unlatched at one point within those hours, we decided to take her measurements. She wasn’t very happy about it.

She weighed 9 lbs 8 oz, which I immediately tried to justify with all the nursing, but the midwife said she had also pooped while we were in the pool (something I didn’t notice), so it kind of evened out. She was 20.25 inches long and her head was 14 inches around. Certainly a big baby!

The midwives checked me out and I hadn’t torn. They weren’t concerned by my amount of bleeding until I tried to get up to shower and almost passed out. They told me my options were pitocin, an herb called shepard’s purse, or just wait it out. I decided to wait it out, but when I got up to pee I passed some large clots and lots of blood, so we decided to try the herb. It tasted disgusting, but quickly got my bleeding under control. The midwife went back to her office for her appointments, but the assistant stayed for a while to make sure things were okay.

Peanut immediately wanted to hold her new little sister, but was happy enough to play games with my mother as we got settled before taking a family of four nap. She is already absolutely in love with Meredith Renee. We all are.

Peanut when she was around 4-5 hours old.

Twig when she was around 3 hours old.

Today’s guest post is from Tophat at the bee in your bonnet. Heather is one of the few bloggers I’ve had the pleasure to meet in person and she’s just lovely. Sadly, she moved shortly after we met to a place much warmer and nicer. I’ve loved reading her blog since Peanut was very young and I continue to enjoy it today. We plan on doing elimination communication with Twig and Heather has done it with both of her children. So here we go!

Elimination Communication. Big, glamorous words for “catching infant poop outside of a diaper.”

There are lots of places for information about elimination communication such as Diaper Free Baby. And while I was working on this post, Boba published, “41 reasons to go diaper free with elimination communication, no potty training required.” You can hold a baby over a sink, over a toilet, over a prefold, over a bowl, or get a cheap Ikea potty. Or use the bushes outside. That works, too. Sometimes babies potty learn early. Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they go on a potty strike for an undisclosed amount of time. And sometimes things come up and EC is just another thing on your mind and you need to give yourself a break. All of those are ok.

And now that list probably overwhelmed some of you. Taking a baby potty? Extra work. And on one level, you’re right. But what I tell most people new to EC is this:

You’re a parent, so you know that feeling you get when it’s been a while since your baby has pooped and she’s making that face and you know it’s going to happen and it’s going to be an exploding mess? It doesn’t have to be an exploding mess! Follow that feeling, take the baby to the potty, and save that diaper. And if you were wrong, then you were wrong. And if you were right, booya!

That’s all you have to do. You don’t have to do anything more than that. Just follow your instincts. Sharpen those “something’s up” vibes. Even practicing 20 minutes a day of naked butt time will increase your sensitivity to your child’s cues. Set a timer and do no more. If you can. Because it’s hard to ignore the signals once you learn them. Plus, it’s fun!

Which leads me to my favorite part of EC: the booyas.  If it’s not being fun, then don’t do it. ECed or diapered, by the age of 16, most kids are out of diapers and it won’t matter. Have fun!

Heather with her daughter on the potty at around 6-7 months.

TopHat blogs at the bee in your bonnet about breastfeeding, birth, parenting, and whatever else is on her mind. She is an avid knitter and lives in the Bay Area where the weather is always balmy, though sometimes foggy.

Our {not so} little Twig was born yesterday, January 20th at home at 11:12AM after about 2 hours and 45 minutes of labor. She weighed 9 lbs 8 oz and was 20.25 inches long. She’s already a nursing champ and Peanut is absolutely in love with her.

I’ve already written up the birth story (I couldn’t sleep when Peanut, Twig, and my husband did yesterday), so I’ll be posting that as soon as I have the mind to go through an edit it. Other than that, I’ll be babymooning by posting guest posts by some other wonderful bloggers (still accepting posts if anyone is interested!), re-posting some old blogs, etc. Thanks in advance for your congratulations and patience.

39 Weeks 4 Days

I know it’s entirely normal for moms to go past their due date. I know that Twig will come when s(he) is ready. I know that things like dilation and effacement don’t matter in terms of when a baby will actually come. Regardless, I am going nuts!

As of today, 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant, I am the most pregnant I have ever been. With Peanut, I went into labor when I was 40 weeks and 3 days and she was born in the very early hours of 40 weeks and 5 days. I thought that possibly the math could be off because with Peanut it was based on my first day of my last period, but if I put that date for this pregnancy into the calculator, my due date is actually one day earlier than my due date based on my date of ovulation.

40 Weeks 1 Day - The Amazing Belly Drop!

Yeah, I know that due dates don’t matter. Due dates don’t mean expiration dates. I’ve been preaching this all along! It’s just so much harder to keep my convictions when I just want this baby to be here. In my family and friends’ defense, no one has really been bothering me about whether or not the baby has come yet. I was purposefully vague with my due date, even though it would be easy to calculate based on my posts here and I did announce that it was my due date on Facebook. I announced at the same time that no one was allowed to ask me if the baby had come yet and people have respected that. My plan if people start asking is to simply delete the comment and move on.

I know that this baby will come when s(he) is ready. I know that extra time cooking is a good thing and that life really is easier with the baby inside. I am still trying to cherish the last days that Peanut is an only child and I’m trying to pamper myself as much as possible in preparation for the lack of being able to in the near future. I’m trying to rest, even though my body decided to wake up at 4:50am this morning and wouldn’t go back to sleep. I’m as prepared as I can possibly be. Now I just have to wait.

This baby is already trying to teach me patience.

I finished all of the individual pieces and then lost myself in other projects. Since it was Peanut’s “something to wear” for Christmas, I stayed up until 1-2am on Christmas Eve mattress stitching it all together. I’m really happy with how it turned out. It’s a bit big for Peanut right now (the options were 2T or 4T and she’s in 3T, so I opted for 4T), but it’s still super cute on her. I also learned how to block pieces so they’re all nice and square and the right size.

Peanut in her new sweater on Christmas morning.

So excited! She even picked the yarn!

I did mess up in one spot, but it’s not noticeable. I was confused about which side was the right side and which was the wrong side when I was making the back, so the neck shaping is accidentally on the outside. Not anything you’d notice when she’s just wearing it, but I’m sure if this were a contest I’d get some points off for that. Doesn’t matter, it was made with love!